Women exploring their sexuality with other women has been accepted by society, and we don’t give it a second thought. But do we feel the same way about men experimenting with other men? Our culture still has an ingrained idea that men are either gay or straight, that male sexuality is not fluid in the way that female sexuality is. And it turns out even women feel that way — and it affects whether they view bisexual men as potential partners.
Would you date a bisexual man? Tell us why in a comment.
Can we all admit in 2016 that sexuality is more fluid than we’ve ever before thought? Straight women experimenting with each other is something we’re definitely aware of, and in recent years it’s come to light that more straight men are getting it on that we’ve realized.
Of course, there are also real bisexual people. They’re not hooking up because of a jello shot-fueled dare at a frat party. It's not Katy Perry experimentation, it's a real sexual preference.
Bi bias. But while we totally accept the existence of bisexual women, mostly without judgement, bisexual guys get a bad rap. Such a bad rap that women won’t even date them.
A new survey from “Glamour” claims that 63% of the women they talked to would not date a bisexual guy. The survey questioned 1015 women, aged 18 to 44. Not cool, ladies.
Say what? And yet, the same polled women admitted to their own bisexuality! If it seems like a double standard, that's because it totally is.
Take a look at the numbers: 47 percent of the women said they’d been attracted to other women before. 31percent had acted on that attraction, whether it was just kissing (93 percent) or receiving oral (63 percent).
Logical fallacy. Confusingly, 63 percent of the women, who almost all said they’d experienced same-sex attraction, wouldn’t date a bisexual guy. What gives?
A Cornell University sexuality professor weighed in. The statistic "suggests that these women hold on to the view that while women occupy a wide spectrum of sexuality, men are either gay or straight,” says professor Ritch C. Savin-Williams.
This reinforces the way we view sexuality differently between genders. Female sexuality is seen as inherently flexible, while male sexuality is seen as rigid: men are either gay or straight.
This idea is reinforced by pop culture. We’re always seeing women experimenting with each other, but never men. Several female celebrities have come out about their own sexual fluidity — like Miley Cyrus and Cara Delevinge — but no men.
Guys don't get to play? Author Joe Kort, who wrote "Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?” told Mic that he’s not surprised by these results at all. "Just because a man has sex or sexual interest in another man, [it] doesn't [say] anything about his sexual orientation,” he explains.
Not even on the net. Even the Internet, where fluidity abounds, paints a depressing picture of why women won’t date bisexual guys. We don't get to see men exploring their sexuality because it doesn't have the same "playful" rep female bicuriousty does.
Do men have to pick a team? "The thought of a man wanting to have sex with another man is frightening because it isn't considered masculine and women crave masculine men,” another woman wrote on Reddit. "It is ridiculously homophobic and sexist but it's the truth, sadly."
Bipoplar opinions. But why don't we then believe that women are less feminine for being attracted to other women? Because it isn’t true, just as men aren't less masculine if they want to explore sex with other men.
Room for everyone. What it comes down to is this: sexuality exists on a spectrum. If you’re attracted to someone, and they’re attracted to you, it really shouldn’t matter who else they’re attracted to. Labels are only as accurate as the opinions that form them (which is to say, not very).
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