Looking to spice things up in the bedroom? It might be time you and your partner invest in a sex toy (or two). Indeed, using a vibrator, massager, or beyond between the sheets can be a sexy and fun way to gives things a boost in the boudoir. Still, bringing up the subject to your partner can be particularly tricky, especially when you don’t know how they’ll react. Will they be into the idea, or totally offended by it? Not to mention, what do you do if you actually get the OK? What then?! — down below, we break down how to introduce sex toys to your relationship.
It’s all about timing. Don’t introduce the idea of incorporating sex toys into the bedroom on the first date, obviously. Rather, bring up the idea once you’ve had a few steamy sessions together and have built a solid level of not only communication, but also trust — both inside and outside the bedroom.
Speed up the process... Care to learn how? If you want to jump front point A to point Z, you can help speed things up by offering your partner lots of praise when they hit those hot zones. This way, they’ll be super confident that they’re satisfying you between the sheets, increasing the odds that your sex toy suggestion will be well-received.
Ease into it. To start the conversation with your partner, talk openly about your interests and desires between the sheets— but gently ease into the discussion of sex toys. Pro tip: Find an article on the matter and try introducing it to them by saying, “I found this interesting piece on how fun sex toys can be. What are your thoughts on them?”
Give a reassuring nudge. It’s essential that you explain why you want to bring some sex toys into the mix — and that you be positive. Offer lots of reassurance and appreciation for your already amazing sex life, so that your interest in toys isn’t perceived as a complaint or grievance.
Look things up. In other words, do your research. Having a good level of knowledge and understanding of the variety of sex toys out there will help put their mind at ease if they have any doubts/fears of the unknown (as well as yours!). Not to mention, this will also help in narrowing down specifically which sex toy(s) you’re both willing to try.
Shop together. After you broach the topic with them and they agree to try it out, shop together! Whether it’s done online or in person, browsing products together can actually make for a great date while simultanoeusly serving as a form of foreplay. Win-win.
Connection 101. So you’ve got your toys — now what? Simply put, connect them to something your other half is already doing. For instance, as they already knows where to touch you to get your juices flowing, build on these skills. Say something like, “It feels so good when you touch me there. I’d love to try it with some vibrations.”
Give them the control. A good way to avoid having your partner view the new addition as competition? Let them control your pleasure. Having them administer — or take away — the powerful sensations is highly erotic, especially if you’re into being submissive (and, like, who isn’t?). The trick is to leave all of you inhibitions behind and really surrender yourself to them.
Don’t forget about them! A common problem some folks have — namely, men — with sex toys is they’re afraid of being “left out." So as a means to ensure your partner is not left out of the fun, opt for a toy that has the ability to pleasure the both of you.
Don’t forget about them! Assuming your partner is a man, rings for the wang or wearable toys can offer a slew of enticing possibilities for not only you, but him as well. This way, you’re both in on the fun (and pleasure).
Speaking off.. Rings for the wang? What’s that? If you’re unfamiliar with c**k rings, well, they’re sort of the best. The Frisky explains, "Designed just for couple sex, this small, wearable toy does double duty. Worn around the penis and/or the balls, this typically flexible ring is meant to prolong a man’s erection, and delay his orgasm, thereby intensifying his pleasure. At the same time, the vibrations work to stimulate your clitoris during penetration.” Yes, please.
Slather on the lube. Trust us, it can make so many parts — if not every part — of sex better. In fact, one study found that lubricant use was associated with more pleasurable masturbation and sex with a partner. Keep in mind that how much lube you should use depends on the size of the toy, of course.
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