Baby. Darling. Honey. Babe. Booboo Bear. Hot Stuff. Sure, there’s an almost endless list of pet names you could have for your significant other. But people tend to get particularly tense when you throw the term “Daddy” into the mix. And what exactly is the psychology behind why people call their sexual partners “Daddy” anyway? Well we were curious as well so we did a bit of research and you’ve got to keep reading to figure out what we learned. Here's why some people call their sexual partner "Daddy" in bed. Who knows.. Maybe you'll find out that you like it more than you ever knew.
Sound off. On a DISQUS forum titled “5 Reasons Men Like Being Called Daddy” people discussed the many reasons they enjoy calling or being called “Daddy” in bed. The larger majority of people participating were in support of the pet name, while a few critics thought it was a bit too taboo for them to indulge in.
Feeling. HeadMistress wrote, “I don’t think there is anything wrong with calling your man Daddy - if it feels natural by all means.” She personally has never used the term in a sexual circumstance, but says she doesn’t think there’s anything incestuous or sick about using it. She thinks of it simply as a term on endearment.
Public. Some people think the term shouldn’t leave the confines of your bedroom. User kiwi wrote, “it’s not bad in bed but calling him daddy in public is not really appropriate.” She went on to say that those who use the term are “always searching for that father figure” if their father figure was absent and that over time the roles will become confused.
Meaning. User Daddy’s Mama brings up an interesting point as far as meaning goes. “When I’m intimate, I don’t imagine f*cking my father and for those whose minds go there,” she wrote. “You’re the one with the hang up lol.” She went on to say that societally it is rare to see men built up instead of torn down.
Daddy. “I don’t care if you call your man daddy, Tarzan, mandingo, etc.,” she wrote. “Rarely do we build up. So to the commenter who has a problem with someone being called Daddy in public? You’ll definitely have a problem with me-but ask me do I gave a good god damn!” Let’s explore this point about meaning and connotation that the user brought up.
Connotation. There is a profound difference between what a wrote “connotes” and what a word “denotes” in terms of meaning. Connotation is, according to Merriam-Webster, “an idea or quality that a word makes you think about in addition to its meaning.” Denotation is, according to the same dictionary, “The meaning of a word or phrase.”
Difference. The literal definition of the word “Daddy” according to Merriam-Webster is “a person’s father.” So when the large majority of people think of the word, they may be thinking of it’s literal denotation, as opposed to its connotation, which is anything else you associate with the term. Someone who uses “Daddy” in the bedroom is most likely thinking of their connotation of the word.
Roles. Bethy Squires wrote about why exactly women call their partners “Daddy” for Broadly. Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin told Squires that she had met more than a few women who thought a desire to use the term “Daddy” in bed was an indicator of daddy issues. Marin talked a bit about meaning and how it relates to roles.
Daddy. “I’ve heard from a fair amount of men who were turned off by it, and were worried that it was an indicator of ‘daddy issues,’” Marin told Squires. Daddy can be, according to Marin, both an indicator of someone who is a father, but also someone who is the boss as far as roles go. She says that’s what most women are aiming for when they use the term.
Father. “I’ve never run across a woman who called her partner ‘daddy’ because she genuinely liked fantasizing that he was her father,” Marin told Squires. And according to Squires, the "general consensus on Reddit was that women call their partners ‘daddy' because they are into submitting to male authority figures.” Squires then spoke with her mother, Dr. Margaret Squires.
Daddy-talk. Dr. Margaret Squires, according to her daughter, works in couples therapy. She has also worked with survivors of childhood sexual abuse for over three decades. “I think that when that language comes up, it’s just as likely to be in a healthy relationship,” Dr. Margaret Squires said. “You’re getting back to very early warm attachments."
De-self. "[People in these relationships] erase any part of themselves that bothers the other person,” Dr. Margaret Squires said. "They fail to recognize that they have rights.” Her daughter continued on to say that “she recognized that daddies could possibly de-self, erasing the childlike part of themselves that needs to be nurtured."
BDSM. User auroaskies on a Reddit thread explained the concept of using the term “Daddy” a bit further, stating that it usually relates to daddy-dominance, aka BDSM. "In the dd/lg scene there is usually no connection to woman actually seeing this man as their father,” she wrote. "They are mostly called daddy because they are caring and nurturing in the relationship towards the woman, like a daddy is to their daughter."
Critics. Carolinablue199 wrote, “I am a woman and I have no clue why some women do this. I find it to be creepy.” At the end of the day, let’s chock the whole thing up to a “to each his own” type thing. As long as it’s consensual and no one is getting hurt, who are we to judge.
You. What do you think? Do you think it’s inappropriate or incestuous to use the term “Daddy” within the confines of your bedroom? Or do you think it’s really up to whoever is involved in the relationship to decide what is and isn’t crossing the line? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.
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