One-night stands. They happen. And while they generally run smoothly from start to finish, sometimes things don't go so, um, smooth. For instance, ever had someone refuse to leave the morning after? These guys have. So, what did they do? Why find a way to kick 'em out, of course. Over on Reddit, several men revealed the ways they get chicks to leave their place after sex and... well, let's just say some of these excuses are downright shameful, to say the least. Read on below.
The gym. One guy said he uses the good ol’ ”I have to work out!” excuse. User “XjohnsonX” wrote: "'Hey, I'm heading to the gym. Want me to drop you off on the way?’ Followed by going to the gym.”
Drive ‘em home. One user wrote: "I've had a lot of one night stands, and I've never once had a problem getting them to leave. I usually just offer to drive them home, because I'm a gentleman.” Gentleman, indeed.
It depends. User “im_probably_naked” said: “Depends. One I've had success with is, 'I've got breakfast plans with the folks.’ But that one only works in the morning. If you don't want her to sleep over then just say you're tired or have to wake up early."
Offer them money. "Offering them money for a cab or offering to pay their uber is the easiest for me honestly,” user “cokeiscool” said. “On occasion the 'I have to wake up early for work' has done the trick but that is a crap shoot because I have gotten the 'oh me too!, goodnight!' and then proceeds to snore in my bed….”
Blame work. "I'm really busy, so I generally say something along the lines of, 'Hey, you're free to hang around, but I need to get some work done, so I'll be on the computer,’” user “Dragil” shared. "Usually, they just leave shortly thereafter. If they don't, and they distract me at all, I ask them to leave on the basis of needing to focus on my work."
Not necessary. User “WildeWeseal” said: "I don't think an excuse is necessary. I've never had this issue. I have my own plans for that day. Even if I don't, I usually offer to make breakfast (since I'm probably making it for me and my roomie anyway). Most times, a girl turns it down and leaves while I'm prepping and on the rare occasion they do stay for breakfast, they usually call an uber after or I give them a ride on my way to get my tasks done that day."
None. One guy — let’s just call him a saint — said he actually doesn’t use an excuse to get chicks to leave. He wrote: "I've never really understood the whole trying to get rid of a one night stand as soon as possible thing. Like, I've had a few one night stands and for me laying in bed, spooning/cuddling and just chatting with the girl is as much fun as the sex itself. There's a reason couples do that sh*t, it's because it's awesome. Unless there's something I actually need to do then she can stay for as long as it's not awkward.”
Unspoken rules. Beyond lame excuses to get the chick to leave, what are some unspoken rules for one-night stands? And this time, we’re talking about for both men and women. Surely, Reddit also had all the answers.
User “theoriginalbombshell.” "Do NOT offer your place if you still live with your parents, or at least give warning. Nothing worse than being drunk, in nothing but a tshirt, tripping over something in the dark hallway on the way to the bathroom, yelling sh*t that hurt and having parents and little sister rush out to the hallway thinking there's a burglar in the house.”
User “c*ckathree.” "Do: Be polite, courteous, and discreet. Do Not: Poop in the dryer and turn it on before stealing money from her purse and leaving through a window.”
Anonymous. "One night stands: BYOC. Bring your own condom if you're trying to get it in. This goes for both guys and girls - Best case scenario you end up with a backup. if one breaks, you have another on hand to take its place. If someone spends the night, there's the extra condom for the morning sex (if you're lucky!).”
User “DukeofGebuladi.” "I always keep cheap spare toothbrushes for them to use the morning after. I know by experience how much better the morning is after you have brushed your teeth.
We can snuggle a bit in bed in the morning, but once somebody gets up of bed for some reason, thats the clue to start getting your a** home."
We can snuggle a bit in bed in the morning, but once somebody gets up of bed for some reason, thats the clue to start getting your a** home."
User “mambouli.” "This is the kit I used to keep in my apartment: Spare toothbrushes, Make-up removal with the little pads, Bobby pins and hair elastics, a case for contact lenses and the solution to bathe them, a hair brush (one of those with very few pegs, so that there's no hair on it when the girl's done with it) and always baby wipes by the toilet. And of course fresh towels.
Girls will feel better about your hook-up if they feel better about themselves.”
Girls will feel better about your hook-up if they feel better about themselves.”
Anonymous. "There's no problem with staying the whole night, if the other person's okay with it. I've only ever left directly after sex if I got 'crazy' vibes (or just super annoying vibes) during sex. Otherwise, leave before sex. Similarly, if the other person mentions they're going to leave, let them. Don't make it more awkward than it has to be. Unless you think they're just saying that to be polite, in which case mention they can stay once, and let it go."
Anonymous. "Just because they're a single-serving-partner doesn't give you permission to be an asshole/bitch. They're still a person. Be nice. None of that throwing the clothes at the person afterwards and kicking them out. Have a little bit of booze at your place to have something to break any awkward tension there might be. Often this will be your first moment alone together, so it could be uncomfortable until the making out happens."
0 comments:
Post a Comment