Evidence shows expressing your feelings in the bedroom is a great way to make you and your partner feel sexually satisfied. In other words, uttering “I love you” is actually more erotic than wearing sexy lingerie or straight-up foreplay. Don't believe us? Science says so! Here, we highlight how dropping the L-bomb makes sex better, according to science.
The basics. Researchers from Chapman University in the U.S. analyzed the sexual habits of 39,000 married or cohabiting heterosexual men and women, all of whom had been with their partner for at least three years. In other words, these couples were all at peak comfort levels.
The method. The study, which is one of the largest of its kind to date, included an online survey which got tens of thousands of responses.
Age. The average age of the study’s participants was 40 years old for women, and 46 years old for men.
The (good) results. The researchers found that the most satisfied men and women were the ones who engaged in more intimate behavior between the sheets. It turns out 75 percent of satisfied men admitted they say “I love you” while they have sex and 74 percent of satisfied women do the same.
The (bad) results. That said, 49 percent of dissatisfied men also said “I love you” during sex, as did 44 percent of dissatisfied women. Who said the L-bomb fixes everything?
So what’s the difference between satisfied couples and dissatisfied ones? "Almost half of satisfied and dissatisfied couples read sexual self-help books and magazine articles, but what set sexually satisfied couples apart was that they actually tried some of the ideas," said Dr. David Frederick, assistant professor of psychology at Chapman University and lead author of the study.
Other details that affected sex. Other habits which improved sex included praising your partner for something they did in the sack and asking your partner for something you want (duh). Those who spoke lovingly — without actually saying “I love you” — while they had sex were also among the more satisfied participants.
What do the results mean? Well, the results show that the more a couple communicates during sex, the more satisfied they are. In other words, forget sex toys and use that mouth!
Prioritizing sex. On a deeper level, the study found that couples stop sexin’ it up on a regular basis after the first year of their relationship. After that point, they have to work to make sexual satisfaction a priority.
Decline of sexual satisfaction. The scientists learned that the overwhelming majority of respondents — 83 percent — were sexually satisfied in the first six months of the relationship.
Decline of sexual satisfaction after six months. Only half of the participants said they were currently satisfied with their sex lives. As for the rest? Well, 41 percent of men and 27 percent of women reported feeling dissatisfied, while 16 percent of men and 18 percent of women said they felt “neutral.”
The importance of sexual variety. The scientists found that sexual variety was significant for overall satisfaction, but they couldn’t figure out exactly what was conducive to long-term happiness between the sheets.
Lack of evidence to support certain forms of sexual variety. “Evidence on the effectiveness of specific forms of variety, such as showering together or wearing lingerie or use of sex toys, is lacking,” said Dr. Frederick.
The importance of mood and sexting. The researchers discovered that setting a romantic or sexual mood or sending a flirty text earlier in the day appears to help overall sexual satisfaction. Sext away, folks!
The takeaway. If you’re planning on having some earth-shattering orgasms with your partner, leave the pleasure gels and battery-powered toys out of the bedroom. Instead, simply drop the L-bomb. Just know that after six months, it's going to lose it's juice. Hopefully the two of you don't.
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