Integrating various styles of play into your sex life can be a quick and simple way to breathe new life into the bedroom. There are countless ways to incorporate play into the bedroom, which means that there is something there for virtually everyone; in fact, the options are only limited by both partners’ willingness to experiment. Therefore, we encourage partners to try to keep an open mind and approach new or unfamiliar things with enthusiasm and curiosity, rather than fear of the unknown. Fun and sexy games can positively restore novelty back into your sex life, especially when the games are introducing something new that you and your partner have never done. That being said, affirmative consent should always be obtained before trying new activities, and partners should keep in mind that consent can be revoked at any time.
The Importance Of Having An Open Mind
Personal development author Danielle DiPirro notes the seven benefits of having an open mind, underscoring the overall lifestyle as exceptionally positive, rewarding, and beneficial.1 DiPirro’s tenants of open-mindedness can also be applied to practicing open-mindedness and experimenting with different styles of play in the bedroom. This article will outline DiPirro’s seven benefits of open-mindedness and discuss how these tenants can benefit your sex life as well as your everyday life.
7 Key Benefits
The benefits to open-mindedness are simply too great to overlook. Consider the following benefits listed below which highlight some of the advantages associated with a more open-minded lifestyle, especially when applied in the bedroom:
1. Open-mindedness means letting go of control.
With an open mind, the concept of letting go of control can become more liberating than terrifying. When you are able to let go of beliefs and fears that may be holding you back, such as “I am not sexually experienced enough to satisfy my partner in bed,” for example, a world of new possibilities opens up for you to explore. As you open your mind past these restraining thoughts, while it may seem like stepping into unknown territory at first, you may find yourself feeling less constrained in life and more empowered than ever. Going back to the earlier example, being open to trying a more kinky form of bedroom play regardless of your inexperience might lead you to discovering a pleasurable new activity that increases the quality of your sex life, a discovery that might never have happened if you were closed-minded.
2. Open-mindedness means experiencing changes.
With an open mind, your beliefs are subject to influence from new ideas, which can change how you view the world around you. In effect, experiencing new ideas gives you the opportunity to create positive change for yourself by adopting them as your own. Willingness to adopt new values in exchange for greater benefits allows you to take advantage of every opportunity for self-improvement that comes into your life, and this aspect of open-mindedness can be especially pleasing in regards to sexuality. Such advantageous opportunities to expand your horizons in and out of the bedroom go unclaimed by closed-minded people, who may become disadvantaged or regretful as a result.
3. Open-mindedness means making yourself vulnerable.
With an open mind, you’re more open to the idea of experiencing something new or unfamiliar, even if it’s outside of your comfort zone. Making yourself vulnerable incentivizes working with another person, as you can use each other’s combined knowledge to make up for the gaps in your own. Such an interdependent relationship not only makes the experience go more smoothly, but also acts as a powerful force that significantly strengthens the connection between one another for the duration of the experience. This kind of vulnerability is especially helpful for establishing or strengthening the intimacy between you and your partner in a sexual encounter. By being open-minded enough to let go of your self-doubt and allowing your partner to do the same, a non-judgmental space is created for acceptance and trust to form. For example, being open to the idea of experiencing some new form of bedroom play with your partner that calls upon some of the more intense forms of play (e.g. BDSM, fetishism, or role play), which are markedly unfamiliar and outside your comfort zone, can serve an alternate purpose of improving the quality of your relationship. This kind of sexual exploration could function as an exercise to bring both partners closer together because of the vulnerability that it requires, which is facilitated by open-mindedness.
4. Open-mindedness means making mistakes.
With an open mind, you may find yourself in novel situations which could introduce a greater likelihood of making some kind of mistake. Making mistakes can be a valuable source of knowledge as they teach us what does not work so we can know what might work the next time we find ourselves in a similar situation. This is where another aspect of being open-minded–that of being okaywith making mistakes–could be useful in a sexual setting. For example, say you find yourself engaging in a type of BDSMplay with established rules and break one of them by accident. The next time you engage in any type of similarly intense sexual play, you may better understand the importance of knowing what is and is not okay during that interaction because of the lesson you learned from your earlier mistake. With an open mind, it can become easier to realize that not only are mistakes okay, they are a part of life and often how we learn important lessons. Still, during sexual encounters, open communication between partners is crucial to the process of recognizing, correcting, and learning from these mistakes.
5. Open-mindedness means strengthening yourself.
With an open mind, ideas are experienced collectively through sharing perspectives with others so that they add up, one idea on top of another, like a single multi-dimensional perspective that enables you to better understand the world around you. In strengthening yourself through this open-mindedness, you enable yourself to see the world through different perspectives and to be more understanding of others. This greater understanding of others via an increased strength of self can create the capacity for more compassion, a vital aspect of vulnerability, which is an effective way to strengthen the intimacy of any kind of relationship, especially a sexual partnership. One example of this could be understanding your partner’s unconfident body image by improving your understanding of your own insecurities. In such a situation, your partner can only benefit from this kind of increased compassion and resulting support created through your open-minded willingness to understand and strengthen your relationship with yourself.
6. Open-mindedness means gaining confidence.
With an open mind, you inevitably build an extensive understanding of the world and your individual position within it. Gaining confidence in the world around you and your ability to navigate through it allows you to move more freely with a sense of sureness. This increased confidence, created not only by an improved understanding of the world but by all of the benefits of open-mindedness listed above, can make sex and relationships incredibly fulfilling. The confidence that comes when you are able and willing to let go of control, experience change with open receptivity, make yourself vulnerable without fear, be okay with making mistakes, and strengthen your understanding of others by strengthening yourself can open up worlds of possibilities to both you and the people in your life.
7. Open-mindedness means being honest.
With an open mind, you are honest enough to recognize that the world is much too complex for any one person to know everything, and you are willing to learn from any possible source of information. Being honest with yourself about the impossibility of knowing everything prompts you to acknowledge and accept your ignorance, and value the various sources of information that you can learn from. For example, in a conversation this understanding could present itself as one person having a genuine interest in what the other person has to say, which creates an underlying sense of authenticity that influences the character of that person, establishing a connection made possible by the first person being open-minded enough to feel like they can learn by listening.
Concluding Remarks
Cultivating and maintaining an open mind might sound daunting at first glance, but it can create a multitude of opportunities for not only self-improvement, but positive development within your relationships, especially sexual partnerships. From opening your mind up to sexual experiences outside your comfort zone, to becoming a more compassionate and vulnerable lover, open-mindedness presents many benefits that could help your relation to yourself and others immensely.
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