Ways You Can Tell You’re The One Ruining The Sex

Have you been struggling with actually reaching orgasm? Is sex never really what it’s “supposed to be” in the movies? Do you get the feeling that your partner just isn’t fully satisfied with what’s going on in bed? If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, it’s clear that you’re probably having really bad sex. Obviously, if you’re having bad sex, it is either your fault or your partner’s fault that sex is starting to suck. Or, it’s both your fault. If you aren’t sure who it is that’s ruining the sex and causing the sizzle to fizzle, keep reading. These signs might suggest that it’s you who needs to step up your game.Do you think you're ruining the sex? Let us know.

Your Mind Is Elsewhere. Have you answered the phone while having sex? Are you distracted by other things when you’re trying to get intimate? It may be a sign that you’re ruining the funtime for your partner. After all, no one wants to be with someone who's clearly thinking of something else when they're trying to have sex with you.

You’re Not Being Adventurous. Does your partner seem bored? If so, you may have allowed the sex to fall into a rut. If your partner regularly asks to spice things up, and you’re still doing the same thing, it may be a sign that you’re ruining the sex’s magic by just being too boring. Don’t be afraid to mix things up once in a while!

You Can’t Get Your Equipment To Work. This isn’t necessarily your fault, and in most cases, it is now fixable. After all, doctors have viagra, pessaries, and all sorts of other things that can make sex happen. What is an issue is if you know you are having dysfunction downstairs and are refusing to get it checked. Do yourself a favor, and just go to the doctor.

You’re Holding Back How Pleasured You Feel. Are you trying to play it “cool” during bed? This is a huge mistake! Sex is all about letting loose with your emotions. It’s about passion, not being the “cool girl” who’s just enjoying the ride. Your partner wants to hear you moan, see you react, and see that you’re turned on. Otherwise, they’ll probably get discouraged or hurt.

You’ve Regularly Criticized Your Partner In The Past. No one wants to hear that their bodies aren’t sexy, or that they’re not doing the trick. If you constantly put down your partner or if you say something seriously ego-damaging, you can’t expect your sex life not to suffer. These things take tact, and if you don’t have tact, it may be time to just close your mouth and work on rebuilding things.

You Stopped Trying To Seduce Your Partner. Have you all but stopped doing the old school romantic stuff in your relationship? A partner that doesn’t feel wanted or romanced is a spouse that may be okay with sex - but will only be *just* okay with it. Go out for a date night. Give him a massage. Talk to him. Be more than just a quick lay.

You’re Very Body-Shy. Insecurity has a way of seeping into the bedroom in very insidious ways. If you’re insecure to the point that you’re not willing to do certain sex acts or insist on sex with the lights off, it may be time to get into therapy. You might be wrecking your sex life and not even knowing it. We all have body issues - we just can't let them hurt our love lives, too.

You’re Depressed. Believe it or not, depression causes massive dips in libido. This can lead to a slew of other problems that have already been mentioned here. Moreover, some studies even suggest that it can lead to high blood pressure and other libido-reducing issues. In some cases, depression can even make it hard to feel sexual sensations at all. If you’re depressed, it may be wise to talk to a doctor.

You Let Yourself Go. You began to gain weight. You stopped dressing up. You’ve become okay with farting around your partner and even going #2 with the door open. You stopped trying to put your partner in the mood. Heck, all the work being done in bed is being done by your partner. If you let yourself go, your sex life will take a hit - even if you two adore each other.

You Regularly Reject Your Partner. Much worse than criticizing your partner is regular rejection. If you find that you’re rejecting your partner’s advances more often than accepting them, they will eventually stop trying because they no longer feel sexy - and they will probably leave.

If You Are Honest, You Are Terrified Of Sex. Your partner can pick up on how you’re feeling when you’re sleeping with them. If you really aren’t comfortable or are overly nervous about it all, chances are that they aren’t feeling too good, either. Rather than spas, sit down and talk to them about how you feel. You might be able to work on things.

Your Partner Has Approached You To Try To Talk About Sex. This is generally a sign that your partner isn’t happy with how things are going, or that your partner is concerned about how your behaving in the bedroom. Listen to them, and open up. It may be your last chance to fix things before they give up on you.

You Regularly Pick Fights With Your Partner, Accuse Them Of Cheating, And Don’t Work Around The House. These habits will make your partner agitated, resentful, and angry. This often will lead to them being less attracted to you, because they’ll start to associate you with negative emotions. If you keep putting your partner in a foul mood, don’t be shocked if your sex life suffers, and don’t be surprised if they leave you.

You’re Cheating, Or You Cheated. Many cheaters think they are doing okay in bed with their actual partner or girlfriend, but the fact is that those who are being cheated on often report that their partners stop being as attentive. If you’re caught, you can also expect sex to be ruined with your partner - at least temporarily. It will take time for them to get over infidelity, if they ever can.

You’re Playing A Dead Fish. No one, male or female, wants a partner who just lies there and does nothing. It feels awkward, forced, and at times, almost rapey to try to have sex with someone who’s acting like a dead fish. It’s way better to do something strange and worry about it later than to just sit there and do nothing. Eventually, your partner will just feel like there’s nothing worth doing with you in bed.