Feel iffy about your man going down on you? You’re not alone. Yes, oral sex might just not be your thing, but there’s no harm in giving it another go or two — especially with the help of these hot and easy tips we’ve outlined below. Check them out!
Talk it out. While you may think it’s unattractive to talk things out with your partner in the heat of the moment, there’s something that’s even more unattractive: you not enjoying yourself because you don’t want to speak up. Simply put, give instructions and voice your opinion. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving a little direction.
Get physical. Moan, arch your back, move your hips, or pull his hair back — whatever you do, make sure you let him know that what he’s doing is working. Remember: Positive reinforcement is never a bad thing, ladies. Alternately, never, ever fake it. You want that big O, right?
Chill out. Women are socialized to believe that their genitals are gross, smelly and ugly, so it’s unsurprising that you feel self-conscious when your partner is down below. But relax — every vagina is beautifully different. We know that telling you to “calm down” actually may do the opposite, but try to loosen up, and remember to breathe.
Appreciate your body. We women have to to put with a lot of BS when it comes to our bodies and self-image. But here’s the thing: Your vagina is perfect just the way it is. Yes, really. Not to mention, your partner wants to go down on you, so they obviously feel the same way.
Pamper yourself. Still self-conscious about your smell or how it looks down below? If it makes you feel better, try wiping down with an unscented baby wipe beforehand. Also, you can try switching up your pubic hair styles to see which makes you feel the most comfortable/hot.
Connect. Ever start to feel lonely while your partner is going down on you? You’re not alone. If you start to feel disconnected from your guy, try holding their hand, or touch other parts of your body. Pro tip: Stimulate your breasts! Other things you can do is ask them to make eye contact with you or engage in a little dirty talk.
Mix things up. Bored of the same old routine? Try experimenting with different positions. Instead of lying on the bed, sit on the edge of it with your feet on the floor. Then have him kneel in between your legs. Bon appétit!
Stay present. Slow. Down. Your. Mind. Distraction is never a good thing, especially when receiving oral. Yes, your mind might drift naturally from time to time, but try to keep it on the situation. Make note of the different sensations and your overall pleasure — trust us, you’ll enjoy the entire experience a whole lot more.
Recognize his intentions. Your partner wants you to orgasm. This is a fact. If they don’t want you to finish, well, then, you should probably break up with them. Straight-up.
Don’t worry about the time. Worried he’s been down there for waaay too long? Stop it. Your partner is going to feel so good about making you orgasm that he won’t mind that it took him a couple of extra minutes to get you to the finish line. Just make sure you return the favor!
Consider it the pregame. While orgasming during oral is ideal, it doesn’t have to happen. Oral is a perfect warm-up for sex, so don’t stress out if it feels amazing but you don’t finish. It is foreplay, after all.
69 it. Don’t like having the focus solely on you? Cue the 69 position! This set-up is a good way to get both of you involved, so that everyone’s busy gettin’ some.
Be comfortable. In order to properly enjoy receiving oral, you need to be comfortable in the bedroom. A good way to do this is to acknowledge what gets you into a kinky state of mind and then act upon those needs. So if listening to R&B music or having a glass of wine gets you in the mood for sex, do it — in moderation, of course.
Don’t blame yourself. Not enjoying it? Chances are it’s not your fault. If your partner isn’t good at going down on you — even after you’ve given them feedback — politely let them know that you’ve had enough. Thank them for the gesture, and move on to the next act.
Have fun. Above all, have fun. Receiving oral isn’t supposed to be a chore. Of course, if receiving oral is something you’re pretty positive you don’t like, you are obviously not obliged to do it. Simply do what feels right. Happy orgasmin’!
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