Ways To Be A Better Oral Recipient

Feel iffy about your man going down on you?  You’re not alone.  Yes, oral sex might just not be your thing, but there’s no harm in giving it another go or two — especially with the help of these hot and easy tips we’ve outlined below.  Check them out!

Talk it out. While you may think it’s unattractive to talk things out with your partner in the heat of the moment, there’s something that’s even more unattractive: you not enjoying yourself because you don’t want to speak up. Simply put, give instructions and voice your opinion. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving a little direction.

Get physical. Moan, arch your back, move your hips, or pull his hair back — whatever you do, make sure you let him know that what he’s doing is working. Remember: Positive reinforcement is never a bad thing, ladies. Alternately, never, ever fake it. You want that big O, right?

Chill out. Women are socialized to believe that their genitals are gross, smelly and ugly, so it’s unsurprising that you feel self-conscious when your partner is down below. But relax — every vagina is beautifully different. We know that telling you to “calm down” actually may do the opposite, but try to loosen up, and remember to breathe.

Appreciate your body. We women have to to put with a lot of BS when it comes to our bodies and self-image. But here’s the thing: Your vagina is perfect just the way it is. Yes, really. Not to mention, your partner wants to go down on you, so they obviously feel the same way.

Pamper yourself. Still self-conscious about your smell or how it looks down below? If it makes you feel better, try wiping down with an unscented baby wipe beforehand. Also, you can try switching up your pubic hair styles to see which makes you feel the most comfortable/hot.

Connect. Ever start to feel lonely while your partner is going down on you? You’re not alone. If you start to feel disconnected from your guy, try holding their hand, or touch other parts of your body. Pro tip: Stimulate your breasts! Other things you can do is ask them to make eye contact with you or engage in a little dirty talk.

Mix things up. Bored of the same old routine? Try experimenting with different positions. Instead of lying on the bed, sit on the edge of it with your feet on the floor. Then have him kneel in between your legs. Bon appétit!

Stay present. Slow. Down. Your. Mind. Distraction is never a good thing, especially when receiving oral. Yes, your mind might drift naturally from time to time, but try to keep it on the situation. Make note of the different sensations and your overall pleasure — trust us, you’ll enjoy the entire experience a whole lot more.

Recognize his intentions. Your partner wants you to orgasm. This is a fact. If they don’t want you to finish, well, then, you should probably break up with them. Straight-up.

Don’t worry about the time. Worried he’s been down there for waaay too long? Stop it. Your partner is going to feel so good about making you orgasm that he won’t mind that it took him a couple of extra minutes to get you to the finish line. Just make sure you return the favor!

Consider it the pregame. While orgasming during oral is ideal, it doesn’t have to happen. Oral is a perfect warm-up for sex, so don’t stress out if it feels amazing but you don’t finish. It is foreplay, after all.

69 it. Don’t like having the focus solely on you? Cue the 69 position! This set-up is a good way to get both of you involved, so that everyone’s busy gettin’ some.

Be comfortable. In order to properly enjoy receiving oral, you need to be comfortable in the bedroom. A good way to do this is to acknowledge what gets you into a kinky state of mind and then act upon those needs. So if listening to R&B music or having a glass of wine gets you in the mood for sex, do it — in moderation, of course.

Don’t blame yourself. Not enjoying it? Chances are it’s not your fault. If your partner isn’t good at going down on you — even after you’ve given them feedback — politely let them know that you’ve had enough. Thank them for the gesture, and move on to the next act.

Have fun. Above all, have fun. Receiving oral isn’t supposed to be a chore. Of course, if receiving oral is something you’re pretty positive you don’t like, you are obviously not obliged to do it. Simply do what feels right. Happy orgasmin’!

How Normal Is It To Gag During Oral?

If you’ve ever found yourself worrying that your gag reflex is getting in the way during oral sex, you’re not the only one. Plenty of people find themselves wondering if it’s normal to gag during oral and here, we get into it and answer your most intimate questions. So check that gag reflex and click on.

Body. Our body’s anatomy is designed so that we are ready to defend ourselves against any unfamiliar objects that come our way (literally and figuratively).

Choking. Our gag reflex lives in the back of our throats, and is there to keep us from choking should anything happen to accidentally make its way down.

HGR. Normally, only large objects trigger our gag reflex, but according to Live Science, around 10 to 15 percent of people suffer from a hypersensitive gag reflex, where people tend to gag when they eat foods that get stuck to their mouths, like caramel or mashed potatoes.

Gag. Our gag reflexes don’t just always react when it comes to eating. Giving someone oral sex can also cause us to gag, for obvious reasons. Our mouths have trigger spots, and when something hits it, we gag.

Mouths. According to Cosmopolitan, the most sensitive parts of our mouths are the roof of the mouth and the back or the side of your tongue and your throat. This is the part of the mouth that is know as the back third.

Sensitive. For some people, having a sensitive gag reflex not only keeps them from being able to give oral sex, but also keeps them from doing every day things like brushing their teeth or going to the dentist.

Psychological. For some people however, gagging doesn’t just happen when they eat or when something touches their gag reflex. HGR, which we mentioned earlier, can also cause people to have a psychological reaction to gagging, and it doesn’t always get triggered by putting something in their mouths, but by other factors.

Response. "In my experience, gagging during oral sex is often because of a coercive or unwanted sexual experience. It sort of becomes a body memory. There's a conditioned response,” says sex therapist Megan Fleming, as reported by Cosmopolitan.

Triggers. Aside from not wanting to give oral sex or not enjoying it, gagging can also be triggered by someone’s smell, overthinking the situation, or fear that something bad will happen, reports Cosmopolitan.

Pressure. Figure out what it is your man likes. Some people find themselves struggling to perform oral sex because they feel pressured to do the things they see in adult films.

Tricks. Chances are, your guy isn’t expecting you to do all kinds of crazy tricks, he’s probably just happy he’s even getting some in the first place.

Women Who Only Orgasm Through Clitoral Stimulation Open Up About PIV Sex

It’s no secret that some women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation. That said, that doesn’t meant they don’t have the occasional big O during PIV sex. Over on Reddit, one user recently ask female users: "to females who can only usually orgasm through clitoral stimulation, what was it that ended up getting you off through PIV?" Let’s just say, the (NSFW) answers poured in by the dozens. Read on below..

What are your thoughts on the matter? Sound off in the comments section!  

Anonymous. "Sex positions that stimulated my clit, such as girl-on-top! After c*mming many times with a penis inside of me (but c*mming from clitoral stimulation) I associated the feeling of the penis hitting my A-spot with orgasm and so now it makes me c*m. I don't really need any clitoral stimulation anymore. It's like I've trained myself otherwise. It's psychology haha.”

User “WhisperInTheDarkness.” "Girl on top was the only thing that worked for a while. Grinding against the man's pelvic region is quite stimulating; however, another factor (as stated in another thread) was age. There just came a certain point where it seemed like my body truly ‘flowered' (to use that old chestnut). Sometimes it's just not possible, but as long as you're easily communicating with each other in and out of bed and not making judgments, I'm sure you will both find a good rhythm!

Oh, and a regimen of working on my own kegel muscles helped a lot too! ;)”

Anonymous. "Aha, this just happened finally. Girl on top, pelvis completely touching his body so my clit was continuously getting rubbed while riding him. Orgasm within I'd say 4 minutes (I normally take like 15.) Pretty awesome."

User “Tazerin” (part 1). "I've always been comfortable with my genitals and I know what it takes to get me off with clitoral stimulation. But I started being more exploratory with my vagina. Pretty much just got right in there and touched different areas with different pressure and motions until I worked out parts that where more sensitive than others, as well as what stimulation worked for me in which areas. I guess it 'woke up' my vagina because PIV started feeling so much better after I took all that time getting to know myself better."

User “Tazerin” (part 2). "Since then I've been able to climax from penetration alone on a handful of occasions. For me it requires rapid movement of a thick toy and a lot of fantasising. I haven't orgasmed from actual PIV sex. So maybe get your girlfriend a toy (depending on how girthy you are) and spend a few lazy days poking around down there to see what she likes. Lube up REALLY well to help avoid any soreness."

Anonymous. "One time, my boyfriend was edging me the whole time we were having sex. 2 or 3 times he got me super close, and would just stop. Finally he got behind me, grabbed my hips, and just started f*cking me. Hard. I came pretty quickly after that."

User “Sparklyagomorph.” "Being on top, or on my back with my legs on his shoulders. Essentially, piv that also comes with clitoral stimulation."

User “Kasuchans.” "So for me, it wasn't PIV, it was penetrative fingering, but I've been able to get the same sensations from PIV, just not to the point of orgasm.

I have a very sensitive A spot. It's the area right around the cervix, and it's very sensitive. If she'd like to try to explore that, try reaching your fingers all the way in (past the G spot) and then flick them around similar to G spot stimulation.

It's pretty easy to hit doggy-style, but sometimes he hits the cervix itself which feels very overstimulating, but it can also be hit (for me) in missionary with a pillow under my hips, especially if my legs are held up over his arms/shoulders."

User “CheeseHero.” "I've gotten really close during doggy. But I had that 'about to squirt' feeling and I couldn't relax enough to c*m. It felt amazing though."

What Exactly Is Female Ejaculation?

Female ejaculation. While we all know what squirting is (thanks, porn), the question remains: what exactly is it? Like, the liquid? Is it pee? Water? A mixture of the two? We turned to the Internet for some answers and, well, let’s just say there surprisingly isn’t a ton of information regarding the matter. Still, we discovered a few things thanks to a recent report from Elite Daily. Read on below for more.

Share your thoughts on the matter below in the comments section! 

Female ejaculation. But first, a little refresher course on what female ejaculation is. Also known as squirting or gushing, female ejaculation is generally characterized as an expulsion of fluid from — or near — the vagina during or before an orgasm. If you're familiar with porn, which we're sure you are, you know what we're talking about.

Lack of information. As mentioned up top, there isn’t a ton of information about squirting available. “This is a phenomenon that hasn’t been studied because most people really don’t care that much,” Dr. Lauren Streicher, an Associate Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at The Feinberg School of Medicine, explained to Elite Daily. “It’s really not scientifically something that people are looking at and studying because it’s just one of those phenomenons that has been observed that some people have experienced it, but it’s not something that there’s issued science behind it.”

Available information. So, what do researchers know about the phenomenon? As Dr. Streicher notes, what is known is that the “female anatomy has many parts, and that it’s more important to understand where the fluid is coming from than to understand what exactly triggers the squirt."

Available information. In laymen’s terms? While it might be nice to know what triggers a woman to release liquid before or during orgasm, that isn't the main focus in terms of research. Rather, where that liquid is coming from is.

Available information. Currently, research shows that the female genitalia houses Skene glands which can be found right next to the urethra. If you’re unfamiliar with what the urethra is, well, it’s the tiny hole you pee out of every single day. Also, why are you unfamiliar with what the urethra is?

Available information. As life would have it, the urethra can be found right below your clitoris. “That’s where the liquid that you’re squirting is coming from, not the vaginal canal,” Elite Daily reports. "The vaginal canal is where blood comes out during your period and where penetration happens during sex."

Understanding the liquid. Still, the question remains: what is the liquid made up of? Unfortunately, scientists don’t really know. That said, there are two main theories, Dr. Streicher explained to Elite Daily. The first? That it’s urine. Yes, seriously.

Understanding the liquid. Indeed, many scientists believe that female ejaculation is nothing but a little harmless pee. Conversely, there are those who believe it’s urine mixed with a fluid coming from the Skene glands, Elite Daily reports.

Understanding the liquid. We should note that the Skene glands is something that both men and women have. As Elite Daily notes, it’s “sort of the female equivalent to the prostate,” why explains why, w hen people with vaginas experience female ejaculation, it sort of ‘shoots’ out of them, kind of like semen in men."

Understanding the liquid. Self-proclaimed “squirters” have described the liquid as “thicker” than pee. What’s more, they’ve also described it as having “a different smell and texture,” Nikki Leigh, a love coach and the host of Ready for Love Radio,” explained to Elite Daily.

Understanding the liquid. “I’ve also asked them about the taste, and it smells and tastes more like the ‘vaginal juices,’” Leigh further explained to Elite Daily. So, what does this all mean? Namely, that some squirters release urine during the act, while others release a liquid that’s a mix of urine and Skene glands secretions.

Understanding the liquid. No matter what, however, one thing can be said for sure about the fluid: it’s definitely urine-based. Meaning, that, it’s essentially always liquid from the bladder, Elite Daily reports. But does this mean that you can pee before sex to avoid squirting? Not necessarily.