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of the dell laptop battery
When last we parted, Odysseus and his band were inside the Trojan Horse, being wheeled into the city of Troy. Achilles had slain Hector and . . . oh wait, that’s a different saga. Let me change wars here and get back to my epic battle with Dell.
As you may recall, I had ordered the souped-up Dell XPS 17. It came. I opened the shipping box. I turned on the laptop with battery like dell 0483T battery, dell Inspiron 2100 battery, dell 5819U battery, dell 2M400 battery, dell Precision M40 battery, dell Precision M50 battery, dell 3H625 battery, dell MT264 battery, dell Studio 15 battery, dell Studio 1536 battery. It blinked back at me, in red — and told me that it had FAILED. After several hours of intercontinental phone communications with enough folks to populate the cast of the Iliad, Dell concluded that I had not mishandled or trashed my new computer but that it had likely been shipped with a defect.
Ah…but what was the nature of the defect? That was the puzzle. The good folks at Dell thought that it was probably a hardware issue. Or maybe, just maybe, a software issue. Or maybe both. Anyway, the solution was to ship two brand new hard drives to me and to arrange for a technician to swap the old ones out and the new ones in.
I was promised that all this in-with-the-new-and–out-with-the-old tech stuff would be done by Wednesday. Dell lied. They sent the tech and the drives to me on Tuesday — that was a nice surprise! Given the holiday crush, I was truly impressed that the company made the extra effort to fix the problem sooner than promised.
The other really nice surprise is that the independent technician who was sent to my home, a guy named “Jack,” was one of the nicest human beings it has been my privilege to meet — imagine a class act, a professional, and competency rolled into one incredibly placid individual. Okay, that’s two gold stars for Dell and an “A” for making an effort to do the right thing and quickly.
Sadly, some four hours after his arrival, Jack had reached the limits of his expertise, which was considerable. To his credit, he removed the old drives and installed the new ones. He also managed to get the computer to load — that hadn’t happened since it was first removed from its shipping box. Jack also managed to load most of the software and configure some of the start-up programs. However, there was this one issue that would not go away. Although I had bought a system configured for 1T hard drive, and although the computer was indeed confirming that it had been loaded with two 500 Gigabyte hard drives (equaling 1T total), the computer was only using one of the drives.
After a lengthy online consultation with Dell’s hardware technicians, Jack was told that they were essentially finished and were closing out the job number because it was clear that the defect with my XPS 17 was no longer related to hardware but now deemed a software issue. At that point, Dell then got a little silly. The hardware folks would not transfer Jack to the software folks. The hardware folks insisted that I personally call a Dell phone number and personally speak to the software department.
I mean, seriously? We’re going to start playing these games after some three days and countless hours of jerking a customer around? In any event, I did as requested, gave a whole new set of information about my account number, shipping number, service number, and my name (as if they didn’t already have it???). A few minutes into my amateurish rendering of the computer’s problems, I put Jack on. It was quite evident to me that he knew far more about what to do than the Dell techie, who seemed to be looking at a manual for “If not A, then go to page 3212; If A, go to page 4233; If not A or B, put the customer on hold and hope that he hangs up or is disconnected.”
After trying every suggestion from Dell’s software tech, he too gave up when everything he instructed us to do produced the same failure to recognize the second drive. He then put me on hold for the umpteenth time.
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