If you’re stuck in a job rut, ditch the career counseling and just have more sex. OK that might be a stretch, but a new study indicates a healthy sex life can actually boost job satisfaction and engagement. What’s more, the post-coital benefits seem to have an immediate effect as workers reported enjoying the office more the day after sex.
“We make jokes about people having a ‘spring in their step,’ but it turns out this is actually a real thing and we should pay attention to it,” says professor and study co-author Keith Leavitt, Ph.D., in a release from Oregon State. “Maintaining a healthy relationship that includes a healthy sex life will help employees stay happy and engaged in their work, which benefits the employees and the organizations they work for.”
People who have sex feel more satisfied at work, reveals new study.Pixabay
In the study, 159 married employees divulged the details of their sex lives while completing two surveys a day for two weeks. Employees who had sex reported being happier the following day, which led to better job engagement and satisfaction. This after-sex high seems to last at least 24 hours, according to the team, and was evident in men and women. The benefits were independent of marital satisfaction and sleep quality, which can also impact mood. Alternatively, workers who brought their office woes home had less sex.
“Making a more intentional effort to maintain a healthy sex life should be considered an issue of human sustainability, and as a result, a potential career advantage,” he says.
Leavitt isn’t the only one who sees the career-boosting benefits of sex. Last month, Swedish politician Per-Erik Muskos proposed a weekly sex break for municipal employees citing studies that show sex is healthy, reports The Daily Mail. Past research has shown that sex can lower blood pressure, improve sleep and reduce anxiety.
Another non-physical benefit of sex? Money. A 2013 study from Germany revealed that people who had sex four or more times a week saw a five percent increase in salary compared to those who abstained. Bottom line, having sex can positively impact your career – not that you really need an excuse to get intimate with your partner.
Men are also susceptible to experiencing sadness, tearfulness or irritability after sexual activity. The phenomenon, known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD), has previously only been recognized in women according to researchers from Queensland University of Technology (QUT) in Australia.
The paper titled "Postcoital Dysphoria: Prevalence and Correlates among Males" was published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy on July 24.
"The first three phases of the human sexual response cycle — excitement, plateau, and orgasm — have been the focus of the majority of research to date," said Robert Schweitzer, a professor at the School of Psychology and Counseling at QUT. As a result, the fourth and final stage of the cycle — the resolution phase — remains a poorly understood experience.
Previous research that did look into PCD largely focused on its prevalence and effect among women, making this a "world-first" study according to the authors.
An international survey was conducted, involving more than 1,200 men from 78 countries including the United States, Australia, the United Kingdom, Russia, New Zealand, Germany etc.
The results revealed that 41 percent of men experienced PCD at some point in their lifetime while 20 percent experienced it over the month leading up to the survey. But only 4 percent of respondents reported experiencing PCD on a regular basis.
When asked about how they felt, some respondents explained that they did not want to be touched and wanted to be alone after sex. Others reported feeling unsatisfied and irritable.
"All I really want is to leave and distract myself from everything I participated in," one respondent said, while another used words like "emotionless" and "empty" to describe their post-coital experience.
Generally, couples who report high levels of satisfaction from a relationship tend to engage in activities like cuddling, kissing, and having conversations after sex. So the resolution phase is considered to be important for bonding and intimacy, said Joel Maczkowiack, a master's student at QUT who also worked on the study.
The findings indicated that the resolution phase experienced by men is just as varied and complex as it was found to be in women. "We would speculate that the reasons are multifactorial, including both biological and psychological factors," Schweitzer said.
Hormonal shifts after an orgasm (i.e. coming down from an immense, pleasurable high) can explain the sadness in some cases. Others may simply have a preference for keeping to themselves after the act.
It was also noted that western culture may have driven assumptions about the way men should perceive and experience sex. "These assumptions are pervasive within masculine sub-culture and include that males always desire and experience sex as pleasurable," he said.
The authors hoped that the study could encourage conversations about the expectations surrounding men and sexual activity, which could influence future therapies.
Anal sex, in case you haven’t already guessed it, is when a couple enjoys foreplay and sexual intercourse using anal stimulation and penetration. A common misconception though, is that anal sex has to involve anal penetration. This is often what puts most couples off trying anal sex, because they are worried that it might be unhygienic, painful or unpleasant.
The fact is that a lot of the pleasure has very little to do with the full and often aggressive penetration that we normally associate with “anal sex.” These misconceptions are largely derived from watching porn and women who have taken relaxants and numbing lotions. But what is the point in having anal sex if you can’t feel any of the pleasure because your ass is numb?
Why Is Anal Sex Exciting?
Anal sex can be pleasurable on so many different levels if your mind is open to it. If you want to entice your guy to try anal sex with you, then you must first get him to understand what it is about anal sex that you find so exciting.
Much of the excitement is on a psychological level. Men and women are turned on by sexual acts that are interpreted as forbidden and taboo; anal sex has had a long reputation of being dirty and related to things that society has not accepted in the past, such as homosexuality and porn.
How Can You Change The Way He Thinks About Anal Sex?
When we tap into what turns us on mentally, we can open up new ways to enjoy ourselves and find pleasure. Anal sex provides the mental stimulation to excite us, because it is considered taboo – nobody is supposed to touch there!
If you can inspire your partner to start thinking about how much it turns you on to think about him touching you in that area, he will in turn feel turned on because arousal is transferable and highly contagious!
The more you can display how aroused the thought of anal sex makes you, the less your guy will be thinking about his own reservations, and the more he will be thinking about how much he wants to see you getting aroused.
Make Sure He Knows What Is Involved First!
If your guy is reluctant to try anal sex, it might be because he is worried that he doesn’t really know what he is doing. It can help to do a bit of research together on doing anal sex for the first time. The more you both look into the subject, the more sexual anticipation you will build between you, which is a bonus!
When a guy feels he knows what to do, and he knows how to give you pleasure, his confidence increases and he can relax and start to enjoy himself. If a guy has to think too hard during sex, then it will take the excitement away, and his experience will be a stressful one instead of a pleasurable one.
Plenty of talking about anal sex before you actually come to trying out anything will help a lot! It will help to get you both in the right mood and feel properly connected, which is important because trying something new in the bedroom is an intimate experience; it can be intimidating if you don’t both feel close to one another. Trust is very important when it comes to enjoying anal sex!
What If You Want to Pleasure Your Guy With Anal Sex?
Most men are not up for any sort of anal penetration themselves because they associate it with homosexuality, or have other hang-ups about being touched in that area.
For a guy who has never enjoyed anal sex, being touched down there might make him feel too vulnerable.
It is a real shame that many men feel uncomfortable about receiving anal stimulation though, because you can give a guy the most intense orgasm of his life – if only he would let you stimulate him where his G-spot is located!
One effective way of encouraging a guy to try anal sex is to let him play with you first.
Let him stoke and massage the entrance to your anus, and with a well-lubricated finger, let him gently penetrate you. Explain to him that he can’t go straight in, and that he has to ‘warm you up first’ so that your anal sphincter muscles relax and let his fingers slide in and out, bit by bit.
If he is a bit squeamish, show him there is nothing to it by pleasuring yourself. He is likely to want to join in once he sees how much it turns you on, and how hard you can come with a bit of anal stimulation!
The trick is to educate him so that he can see exactly what is involved and exactly what to expect.
Men who have never tried anal sex before are most likely to be afraid of surprises, so show him that there aren’t any.
And if he is concerned about hygiene, simply make sure you both have had a shower and washed your external anal areas well.
If you both have healthy bowel cycles, then there should be no need to worry about not having a clear passage and no need for any internal flushing either!
What Excites You About Anal Sex? What Are Your Anal Sex Hang-ups?
It can help to know that there are plenty of other people who enjoy the same things as you. When you find out that many other couples have the same experiences that you are having, suddenly you realize that you are not as alternative as you may have thought.
Anal sex is something that many people enjoy nowadays, and it is something that is considered normal in many sexual relationships.
Of course, the most important thing in any relationship is to have a loving and healthy relationship, but as you well know, like anything, if you stick to routine, it grows old. Sex is a HUGE part of any relationship and it’s our way of connecting with our hunky men on a more intimate level. If you’ve been with your man for a while, it’s time to let the inhibitions go and not be shy anymore…shy is for new relationships, not a guy you’ve been with for ages. Yes, ladies, it’s time to spice up your sex life and what better way to do than with a fun sex toy?
Sex toy? Isn’t that just for single women?
Hah! You’re so misguided. Sex toys are for everyone and it’s a great way to add a bit more fun and interest into your relationship. With a plethora of different weird and wonderful sex toys on the market today, it’s really easy to get overwhelmed. That’s why I felt compelled to share with you my inside knowledge and experiences with just a few ideas that are going to rouse both yours and your partner’s curiosity and, of course, leave you both feeling more than just satisfied.
#1 The Vibrating Egg
Put off by its name? Don’t be. A vibrating egg, otherwise known as the bullet, is one of the most gratifying and versatile sex toys there is; what’s even greater is that you can use it solo or with your partner. With the vibrating egg, you’re guaranteed an orgasm every time, yes you heard right “EVERY TIME”! It certainly gets the job done, that’s for sure and perhaps what makes this simple yet effective sex toy even better is that it’s one of the cheapest sex toys available. If you’re both sex toy novices, this is ideal for you.
It works by using a remote control that’s connected to a thin and subtle wire. Are you super horny? Well, that’s great you can set it to the highest settings for your extra pleasure or if you’re just getting in the mood, you can set it to a lower setting and enjoy the vibes.
#2 A Set Of Handcuffs
Do you want to step it up a notch and play dominatrix? Or perhaps you want to be the submissive one and be dominated? Do you want to test the waters first before getting into some more serious bondage? If you’re jumping up and down screaming hell, yes, then handcuffs are the way to go.
Handcuffs are a mainstream sex toy and there’s nothing dodgy about them – use them either during foreplay when you’re getting things hot or during sex itself. Do you want to make him squirm and pleasure him in ways that will make him wet and wild? Tie him up with handcuffs and tease him or vice versa, but do make sure you set a few ground rules before using them; you don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. Over time you’ll both get used to the idea of being tied up and you may want to spice it up even more by adding a few more naughtier things such as a blindfold or a whip next time round.
#3 Lubes And Massage Oils
What’s hot sex without your trusty lube? If you’re not already using lube, head to the nearest sex store near you and stock up. Fragrant lubes, flavored lubes, lubes that leave tingling sensations…you name it and there is probably a lube variety. Lubes or massage oils not only make sex and penetration much easier, they also enhance your sexual pleasure…it’s a double-whammy.
Like anything, there are good quality lubes and then there are crap cheap ones. Pay a little more and buy the good stuff because some aren’t compatible with sex toys and you’ll just end up destroying them and this is something you really don’t want, right? If you’re looking for a way to really get or give mind-blowing oral sex, opt for a flavored water-based lube. If you’re a little bit more apprehensive and want to take things a little slower, opt for scented massage oil to heat up those massages and get both you and your man in the right mood and hanging for more.
#4 The Mini Massager
When I say mini, it’s mini and super discreet! You’ve got to love the mini massager because there’s nothing more intimidating that a massive dildo – especially when you’re using a sex toy with him for the first time. When you’re introducing a sex toy into your relationship for the first time, start with something small. The mini massager is code name for the inconspicuous ‘Pocket Rocket’ which is just small enough to get you in the mood and turn you on like crazy, but at the same time it’s not enough to turn your man off and have him running in the other direction screaming, “Get that thing away from me.” Compared to other bigger vibrators, the vibrations are just as effective and strong – actually it’s so small you hardly even realize that you’re using a sex toy. Turn him on even more by taking the initiative and start playing with yourself; you’ll soon get him going.
#5 The Vibrating Penis Ring
Oh my God, what’s that? I can hear you gasping already. Never fear ladies, this is not as scary as it sounds and in fact it’s going to bring you a hell of a lot of pleasure. It’s no secret that women definitely have a hard time reaching orgasm from just sex (no, you’re not the only one) and this is where the vibrating penis ring comes in. This penis ring is a ring that is placed on the shaft of your partner’s penis and restricts its blood flow. The result? Harder, more prominent erections (yup, it gives him pleasure too) that last longer and it creates the most amazing sensations that you will never have experienced in your life (that is assuming this is new for you). This ring can either be directed to your clitoris or his testicles depending on which sensation you want, but I’m guessing it’s going to be clitoral!
Whatever kind of sex toy you and your partner use make sure you’re both comfortable and of course, don’t forget to have lots of fun and enjoy the moment. You’ll never look back!
Say what you want about dominating (or being dominated) in bed—people are clearly into it. Thanks to the publication of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, BDSM (bondage, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism) seems a little less freaky than it may have before. Everyone from college students to middle-aged housewives to, yes, even my grandmother (I know) has read the books and seen the movie—and for many of them it was a truly, uh, "awakening" moment.
But just as the idea of "S&M" (as BDSM is often called) finally became a household topic, a new one arose: Is BDSM feminist? Can a woman who enjoys dominating or being dominated still call herself a feminist? Simple answer: Yes.
"A lot of people like to say that BDSM can't be feminist. This is silly, of course," Cathryn Berarovich, who's been a professional dominatrix on and off for eight years, told Glamour. "I can't think of anything more feminist than BDSM—when it's properly practiced at least. At face value, the BDSM community is full of men who want to be submissive to women… [and] even when the woman is submissive, there is nothing anti-feminist about kink. BDSM prioritizes consent and communication. It may often be more feminist than a lot of traditional vanilla sex that prioritizes male pleasure over female pleasure."
According to clinical psychologist and sex therapist Marianne Brandon, Ph.D., most women fantasize about domination at least occasionally, while roughly half of women think about it regularly. The reason for this is straightforward: People are attracted to power play when they're having sex.
"Power play is a part of all primate sex; really all mammalian sex," says Brandon. "It is a primal, instinctive urge that…ensures that sex happens and our DNA survives. Meaning, there is a dominant partner who ensures that sex happens, and a receptive partner who allows sex."
In other words, BDSM is guided by human instinct—and if done in a trusting, consensual context, can be a totally healthy way to turn up the heat in bed. Interested in testing it out? Here's a five-step guide to BDSM for anyone who's, you know, curious:
1. Tap into your sexual fantasies—and admit it, they're pretty hot.
Study after study has proven that almost no one is without at least one sexual fantasy, and that these frisky thoughts are completely normal—yes, even the really kinky stuff that you might make you think you're weird. Don't worry—you're not.
2. Decide if you're ready to share them.
If you feel major hesitation to broach the subject with your partner, then you might not be ready. When it comes to S&M, open lines of communication are key, explains Berarovich. "BDSM is a voluntary exchange of power between two or more people. There has to be a lot of talking that goes on beforehand about limits and boundaries." When you can do so without feeling strange or awkward, then you're ready to talk logistics. Which brings us to the next step...
3. Discuss who will dominate/be dominated.
"[BDSM is] a safe way to explore various kinds of power exchange outside of the real world," says Berarovich. It can be incredibly cathartic to completely or partially surrender control to another person, just as it can be exhilarating to take control that someone gives you." In fact, according to Brandon, you've probably already done it, if only in a very small way.
"Dominance in the bedroom can be demonstrated in very subtle ways, such as by a simple command (Take off your clothes') to light bondage (tying up wrists with a scarf) to more intense sex play."
But when it comes to domination, how do you know if you'd like being dominated, or dominating someone else? Berarovich suggests playing out both scenarios in your head, and feeling it out. Which one do you gravitate toward? What do you get turned on thinking about?
On average, women tend to fantasize about being dominated, but the truth is, you really don't know what you prefer until you test the waters. It's also important to realize that just because you want to be dominated by a man in bed, doesn't mean you want to be dominated by a man in life. Remember: Fantasy and real life are not one in the same. (And you might be more into dominating, anyway—which is totally cool.)
4. Agree on a safe word.
One of BDSM's major prioritizations that even further proves just how much consent and communication are part of the equation is a safe word. A safe word is something that the submissive uses when things are getting a little too hot to handle. Some common choices: "yellow" to signal for your partner to slow down, or "red" to communicate that it's time to hit the brakes.
"A good dominant will do everything in their power not to bring their partner to the point where they have to use a safe word, but accidents happen, and when the submissive uses his or her safe word everything stops. The end," explains Berarovich
5. Kick things off with some sexy talk.
It's crucial to start any conversation about trying something new in bed when you're feeling calm. Otherwise, your nerves might lead your partner to feel anxious too, says Brandon. One way to begin: Whisper something you want to try into your partner's ear during foreplay, "so it's a sexy comment rather than a clinical conversation," Brandon says.
What to say? Ease into it with a playful comment like, "I want to play like they did in Fifty Shades of Grey—I'll be Anastasia." (If your partner isn't a Fifty Shades fan, you might need to explain a little. Minor detour.) Or if you're the one looking to do the dominating, say, "How about next time, I'll take charge," or, "You're so sexy—I want to tie you up."
Say what you want about dominating (or being dominated) in bed—people are clearly into it. Thanks to the publication of the 
1. Tap into your sexual fantasies—and admit it, they're pretty hot.