Make Her Approach You

Far too often, we focus on only one-half of the bigger picture. In regards to encounters between men and women, in which both are seeking romantic candidates, we men spend the vast majority of our time contemplating our approach. In fact, you can find multiple articles by yours truly that revolve around the concept of a man approaching a woman, as it’s typically the launching pad for erotic and exciting adventures. However, we should always look past the “traditional” or the “accepted” and recognize that women can and often do approach men, and if you’d rather let that sweet-looking lady at the end of the bar (you know, the one who's been eyeing you for 15 minutes) shoulder the burden of nerves, pay close attention. This is all about how to make her approach you, a novel idea for some, but an essential, tried-and-true option in the experienced Player’s grab bag.

Make yourself available

Don’t take this literally. Clearly, if you’re in the club checking out the lovely, curvy attendees, you’re a free agent examining the market. However, invert your knowledge of the flirting game and apply it to the opposite situation: If it’s exceedingly difficult for men to break into groups of women, why should it be any easier for a woman to crack a set of guys? While some say it’s a less intimidating prospect for women — primarily because men are supposedly more likely to welcome a great-looking girl into their midst with no questions asked — most women will say otherwise. The truth is, if you want to make her approach you, separate yourself from the rest of your party. If you’re already alone, great, but if you’re not, step away so she doesn’t have to summon quite as much courage.

Don’t be so subtle

While it’s certainly true that subtlety is a major aspect of the flirting process, this is one situation where you may want to risk more overt behavior. If the two of you have already locked eyes, this means you’ve already “marked” each other. You are familiar with this step — it’s when you’re both aware of where the other is, and you will continually seek out signs of possible interest. Usually, this is where the man considers his approach without entertaining the other option. Instead, try something new. Make her approach you by trying a few big smiles, raising a glass in a simple salute, hinting with a wink, or if you want to get brazen, you could simply wave her over. Besides a quick shake of the head in a negative reply, what are you really risking? Subtlety can be construed as fear, while some obvious behavior can translate to confidence.

More great tips on how to make her approach you...

Present your best side

We all have strengths and weaknesses, and although some can’t be conveyed without the benefit of speech, many can be displayed without words. If the ladies always love your smile, use it with liberal abandon to make her approach you. If you’ve got a cut physique, perhaps you’ll pop a bicep flex when you lift a drink (just don’t start posing in the midst of the club; you’re a man, not a child), or if you’re the best dancer in the place, make it clear to all in the vicinity.

Another option would be to show your sociable and charming side by becoming the center of attention; the guys will understand what’s happening and, if they’re smart, they’ll shift to support mode. A dependable group of friends can make you look like a hero from afar, and that’s guaranteed to generate some interest.

Give her something to respond to

It often takes something extra — beyond your looks and natural charisma — to entice a woman, which may require some innovation and creativity on your part. This could involve any number of things that most women are typically drawn to — from power suits and expensive cars to babies and puppies. If you’re hitting the hot spots at night and you’ve got the means, you may want to flaunt it; if you’re at the park, you can utilize the previous tip and present your finely honed physique; or you can take the sensitive road and walk your dog, or perhaps offer to babysit your brother’s new child. If you’re on the beach and you’ve got a game of volleyball or Frisbee going, you can make it clear that girls are always welcome to join. If you want to make her approach you, it’s all about piquing her interest before the initial contact.

play the game

At the end of the day, it’s the final result that ultimately matters, but much of the strain involved centers on the approach. That being the case, it shouldn’t always be the man’s responsibility to make that nerve-wracking walk, despite any traditional beliefs a woman may have. If you can catch her eye, it’s you who will gain the benefit of watching her approach.