New Reports Reveal A Second Sexual Revolution Is Happening, And Older Women Are Benefitting

There's nothing like a healthy sexual revolution, eh? Over the years, various groups have had their fair share of revolutions, but if you haven't already noticed, there's usually something of a trend within revolutions. They tend to (though not always) revolve around a younger crowd — because it's apparently hip to celebrate social shifts. That being said, this isn't the case, not at the moment, especially (and the younger crowds get to finally sit this one out for a change). Keep reading to learn more about new reports revealing a sexual revolution happening among older women.Have you ever been part of a revolution? Let us know in the comments below!

The left-out club. Ever felt like you were too old to fit in with the crowd? Or have you ever felt that you were no longer socially relevant? If you have, then join the club. It’s by no means uncommon, but it is certainly a universally shared feeling — but one that seems to be getting its moment to shine.

The age of ages. To be sexy, most people act as though there’s a format you need to fit in with. They act as though you’ve got to look like this, act like this, think like this... and also, in most cases, be this old (which is to say, be this young). This idea, thankfully, is changing.

Sexy-year-old. We have entered a new era of sexuality, and according to the Daily Mail, it’s a sexual revolution dedicated to women of a certain age — an age belonging to women who know a thing or two. As Indiana Jones once said, “It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.” Sure, spoken by a man, but still just as appropriate for a woman.

The classic housewife. There was a time (not so long ago, actually) when women were viewed in a very particular light. Insultingly enough, this light was in the kitchen or in the laundry room. It was a home. Where men believed that women belonged. But that idea of a woman is by no means representative of what a modern woman represents.

Fitting into a mold. We live in a world where women are traditionally the homemakers and men are traditionally the breadwinners. When all you have is a patriarchal society, you really shouldn’t expect anything less. But the times have changed. — they’ve been changing — and women are standing for that kind of BS anymore.

The sexual revolution. Sharron Hinchliff is a psychologist who specializes in sex, and she views this era as a sort of sexual revolution — for older women, especially. Older women are becoming more fearless, more attuned to what their bodies want, and not only what they need.

A look back. When Glaswegian organizational consultant, Fi Bruce, was asked about her two failed divorces, she harkened back to when she younger, back before she was married. When she was a young girl, sex was about reproduction. It was a duty. With this insight, it took her a while to truly understand that it could be so much more.

Sexual frustration. In both of her marriages, the sex was a bore. It seemed to be all about the men, about how they felt. As the years went on, it became too much for Fi to handle. Sexual frustration is very real, and it was so real for Fi that she decided to change her entire sexual life around completely.

A new experience. After her second and last divorce, Fi decided to change. She ended up meeting a man who was over a decade younger than her, and to say the experience was life-changing was putting it lightly. This was a man who wanted her feel pleasure just as much as he did, and she was happy to allow it.

Women. Fi is representative of exactly what is happening in our world today. Women are no longer what men want them to be or what society “needs” them to be, but what they are. It sounds simple enough, but that’s precisely what was so frustrating about the way women have been treated up until recently.

Sluts. When women act in a certain way that is more promiscuous and sexually aggressive, it’s not uncommon for them to be referred to as slutty. Not that it needs explaining. If you’re alive right now, you’re well aware of this. But there has been a shift. On one hand, most women are starting to not give a sh*t about what people say, and on the other hand, the male population is starting to treat women with the equal respect they deserve.

Grandma. Aside from the day she dies, a woman’s sexuality doesn’t have an expiration date. If wants sex, she should feel comfortable with getting it. Grandma can still f*ck if she wants to. There’s no rule saying that she shouldn’t, and there’s nothing anyone can say or do to stop her.

Unfunny. There is this idea that an older woman being sexual free is gross or awkward. But this idea is perpetuated only by the fact that older women in sexual settings are only portrayed in comedic ways on film or TV. This new revolution is here to remind everyone that that kind of bullsh*t isn’t going to slide anymore.

A change. With this sense of freedom to explore their bodies, older women now have the opportunity to feel as connected to sex as everyone else does. As with any revolution, once you get enough people to stand up for a cause, the old ways of thinking quickly give way to the new ways.

Independent women. This isn’t the 1950s anymore. If you’re a woman, you don’t have to fit into some standard. On the contrary, women have the power to inspire a similar mindset in younger generations. So, women, no matter your age, live, laugh and f*ck. It’s not weird. It’s not silly. It’s necessary.

Why Dirty Talk Increases The Pleasure You Get From Sex, According To Science

Many of us already know from experience that dirty talk increases sexual pleasure, but sexual psychologists and researchers have actually been looking into the matter with greater attention. As scientists are wont to do, they've asked the question of why dirty talk is so powerful, and they've come up with some intriguing and insightful answers. For example, what do you think the post powerful sex organ is? The penis? The vagina? Wrong and wrong. Your brain does most of the heavy lifting. Check it out.

The brain is the most powerful sex organ. The nerve endings in our genitalia are extremely sensitive and stimulating those nerve endings does get us off, but they can only do that with the help of the brain interpreting those signals correctly. The brain is also an important sex organ in that your imagination can enhance your physical experience. It's a powerful thing.

Mental and physical stimulation. Frequently, we talk about how external and internal stimulation for women is extremely important in helping them reach orgasm. Similarly, simultaneous mental and physical stimulation is also crucial. You can be physically stimulated in all the right ways, but it might do nothing if your mind isn't in the right place.

Why dominant women like being given dirty talk. Sexual psychologists have also surmised that dominant women like when their partner gives them dirty talk in bed because it differs so drastically from their every day lives. Powerful women who are strong in their jobs and other aspects of their lives like being more submissive in bed because it stimulates an area of the brain called the amygdala. The amygdala is the region known as the "fear center" and is super involved in excitement and pleasure.

Verbalizing our desires. Talking during sex is great for keeping communication open in your relationship. It also helps us verbalize our desires to our partner, which in the end is what makes them get satisfied in reality.

Fantasy fullfilment. Engaging in dirty talk can be a way of feeling like we've fulfilled certain sexual desires that we don't actually fulfill in a physical way. When we talk to each other, we can come up with any scenario we want and make it sexy, even if it's realistically impossible to achieve.

Less anxiety. Dirty talk actually helps reduce anxiety in the bedroom. If you feel comfortable enough to vocalize something, you'll feel comfortable when you're going through the actual physical aspect of it as well.

More confidence. The less anxious you are, the more confident you can be. The more confident you both are in the bedroom, the better the sex will be for the both of you. You'll be more willing to try new things and give all of your effort.

Layering your sexual activity. Adding dirty talk to your sex adds another layer to your overall experience. When something is more dynamic, you can enjoy it in multiple ways as opposed to just one. Make your sex spicier and start chatting.

Emotional component. Dirty talk can also be emotional. Not all naughty chatter has to be impersonal. Communicating your love for your partner within your dirty talk adds an emotional component to your sex that can also greatly heighten your satisfaction.

Get in the mood. Dirty talk can help bring you out of your shell. Like candles and romance, a little dirty talk can help get you in the mood for something super steamy. Get out of your own headspace and have some X-rated fun!

Dirty talk can result in orgasm. Not only can dirty talk turn you on and get you hard or wet, but it can actually bring you to sexual climax. Your brain does a lot of the work during sex, even though you think it's a very physical activity. The right words can send you over the edge.

Lowers inhibitions. Participating in dirty talk lowers your inhibitions. Like alcohol or any other social lubricant, dirty talk can help you let your guard down and get into character.

Madonna-Whore Complex. Dirty talk is an avenue of exploring the popular Madonna-Whore Complex. For instance, your girl could be nice and polite in her daily life, but when she gets in the sheets she likes to be naughty as hell. It can be a big turn-on having a clean mouth whisper dirty words.

Make sure you're good at it. As much as hot dirty talk can turn a person on, poorly executed dirty talk can kill a flame faster than a tidal wave. For most people talking dirty comes pretty naturally, but if you need practice, don't be afraid to consult your friends, or the internet, for help.

Boundaries. Just like with physical actions in the bedroom, you have to be aware of your partners limitations and boundaries. If she's turned on by being called your slut in bed, go ahead and do it for her. If you say it once and she very much makes it clear to you that that's not cool, don't do it ever again. You both need to be comfortable.

Women Who Have More Sex Have Better Marriages

This might not come as a surprise, but marriages that have more sex in them end up being happier marriages. Actually, this comes as no surprise at all. However, many men and women find themselves in relationships where the sex is seriously lacking. There are actually huge online support communities dedicated to coping with living in a sexless marriage. Some of those communities, like r/DeadBedrooms, are over 40,000 people strong. There’s a lot of reasons why a marriage can suddenly become totally sexless, but anyone who’s been in that kind of marriage will tell you that dealing with that is a special kind of painful, and navigating your marriage and getting it on track is really hard, and for some people, it’s totally impossible. Here’s what you need to know about sexless marriages.

Some married people are actually saying that it was a mistake to get married. Married people who live in sexless marriages find that for them, it’s a nightmarish hellscape. Some married people who find themselves in that situation find themselves starting affairs simply because they can’t bear the fact that their spouses simply refuse to show them that they’re attracted to them sexually anymore.

It’s not really about the sex. The sex is a huge issue, obviously, but people in sexless marriages aren’t really upset about that part of it. What they’re actually upset about is the death of affection in their marriages. For many people, physical affection is vital for a romantic relationship, and they’re simply not getting it. That’s enough to drive some people up the wall.

The definition of a sexless marriage or a dead bedroom is pretty straightforward. A dead bedroom basically amounts to sex 10 or fewer times a year. You’d think that would be really difficult to do, but you’d be wrong, because 15-20% of married couples are dealing with it. Despite the lesbian bed death myth, the people dealing with this the most are actually straight people.

Men aren’t the only ones who want sex. Women are just as likely to get frustrated with the lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage. The online communities where people in dead bedrooms talk about their sexless marriages are very quick to dispel the myth that only men care about sex.

Withholding sex in a relationship is a great way to make your spouse feel really badly about themselves. One woman on a Yuku community board might sound a bit melodramatic and angsty, but her pain is something everyone who’s been in a sexless marriage and wasn’t okay with could relate to. ”I feel … like I die more everyday. I have so much love and real passion to give and it’s not wanted, appreciated, or returned. …The man that loved me is dead. He is like a zombie. … I know my husband is a p*rn addict and is on sex hook up sites yet doesn’t want me. I have men flirt with me everywhere. He makes me feel like an ugly old woman just sitting out in the country waiting to die.”

One common theme here is feeling rejected. Many people dealing with a sexless marriage and trying to bring the sex back find that their spouses really aren’t about it. The rejection ends up really messing with their psyche. “But even when I think the mood is right and I try to initiate, she just brushes me off like I’m a dog trying to hump her leg,” writes one anonymous man.

It wasn’t always that way. Many people find that their relationships were actually quite sexual, but then there was a moment where the sex just kind of tapered off and then it just stopped happening. What really messed with them was the fact that their significant others often didn’t notice that the sex was just missing from their relationship.

More often than not, it’s the person who wants sex back who posts online about it. This is because two people who are okay with not having sex generally won’t see it as an issue. However, if libidos are mismatched or sex just isn’t happening, it’s often the person with a higher libido who's going to talk about it and need the support.

Many people in dead bedroom find that by the time their spouses realize that something’s wrong, they don’t want to fix things anymore. Many men and women have found that when they address the issue of their dead bedroom, their spouses will overcompensate and start having sex more regularly again, only to taper off once more. One Reddit user was beyond angry and hurt when his wife started putting in more of an effort once she realized he was done. 
“I am furious that I let her do this to me. She has destroyed my humanity and what little grace God gave to me at birth. I feel that I am a barely contained walking plague. A stain. She has hurt me so deeply and I cannot get better.”

Not everyone dealing with a dead bedroom is married. Many married people are surprised that a lot of people trying to work through sexless relationships are people who aren’t married. Reddit user Rebreather25 had this to say about that: “I understand the married couples with houses, finances, three kids, etc. having troubles where a divorce is going to be painful on many fronts. I can't understand the childless unmarried couples. Sure, you love him/her, but you have been together two years or so and already have DB. Leave. Find somebody else.”

People who have lower sex drives have also weighed in. It takes two people to make a sexless marriage, so more often than not partners of forum users will talk about their issues with their marriages. One woman on Reddit was aware that she wasn’t initiating sex anymore, but she had her own side of the story that was worth hearing. “I’m tempted to just take him up on the divorce thing, I think that’s what is coming. We’ve done a couple of rounds of couples’ therapy without much success. I can’t speak for him but my desire to compromise has probably out-plummeted my libido over the years. I still love talking to him, spending time with him, we have a lot in common (thankfully no kids) but his attempt to once again place the blame for our failed sex life squarely on my shoulders really flared up a nasty ball of resentment in me that is unfair to both of us.”

While people do stick it out, many people do choose to leave. Throughout different forums, men and women tell their stories about leaving their marriages to find a relationship where they feel appreciated. One anonymous man on Reddit told his story, and how he went from being in an abusive relationship to being in a loving relationship. “My dead bedroom was a self-defeating, soul crushing cycle that was never going to get any better. I know that now. In the final throes my wife confessed that she hasn't had any sexual desire in years, even during the times where she would initiate. Everybody deserves to be loved. Don't be like me and stick around for 12 years. Leave if you can, or find some other way to bring yourself happiness. You deserve it.”

Other people simply have affairs. There are countless people dealing with this situation who find that having an affair allows them to be there for their kids and for their spouses while still getting everything else that they need. While having an affair is really frowned upon and is very much breaking the sanctity of marriage, these people do it because they believe their spouses messed up the marriage and the vows because they withhold affection.

Everyone else finds that they have a choice to make. They find that they feel like they have to choose between leaving someone they really love and consider a friend, and living with little to know romantic and sexual affection. Needless to say, many people simply find themselves at a loss, because all the advice boils down to leaving as soon as they can, but they can’t forget that they love their spouses.

It goes without saying that women who have more sex have better marriages. That’s because literally everyone having more sex within their marriages are going to have happier marriages. This is why dealing with a sexless marriage is that more painful, because they know a huge piece of what makes a romantic relationship great is missing. For people dealing with sexless relationships, there is hope, whether through working through the issues in your current relationship or moving on to a new one.

Why Being A Mom Is The Best Thing That Could Happen To Your Sex Life

For all the excitement that comes with being a mom, there are just as many worries. You're afraid that you won't be the same person you used to be. You're afraid that you're not going to be able to handle everything that comes with being a parent. You may even be worried about your sex life. Because no matter how you spin it, being a parent is  sexy. Sure, the MILF movement is fairly popular, but that's more about the age and maturity and less about the duties. But if you're having these worries, you can finally put them to rest. Keep reading to find out why being a mom is the best thing that could happen to your sex life.a mom? Let us know!

“Houston, we have a problem.” Claiming that sex after having kids won’t be as exciting as it used to be tends to be a typical stance on the topic. But truth be told, these people are focusing way too much on the negative. Sure, it’ll be different. But worse? Not by a longshot. In fact, your sex life after becoming a mom is only going to get better and better.

New mom, new sex. When you become a mom, your life changes. But in terms of your life, it changes for the better. Now, it’s certainly easy to look at the negatives of becoming a mom when it has to do with your sex life, but perk up. It’s high time you modify that downer mindset of yours and start looking on the bright side of life.

“Funger.” Once you become a mom, you develop something called “Funger,” and no, it’s not a disease, and no it has nothing to do with fungus. Funger simply translate to “a hunger for fun,” which is exactly what you have now that you’ve finally gotten through 9 months of prenatal issues and that the next few years of your life will be consumed by glorified babysitter duties.

Body positivity. When you’ve dealt with being pregnant, you’ve seen your body like you’ve never seen it before. But that’s a good thing. What’s great about it is that you become way more comfortable in your own skin, which extends to being comfortable in your own skin when you’re making love. You’re going to be way less worried about how you look, and way more interested in how you feel.

Self-confidence. Aside from your body, as a mom, you’re just more likely to have a greater sense of confidence. You’ve created life. Suddenly, all the petty issues you used to worry yourself with hardly mean anything anymore or simply don’t mean anything at all. As blink-182 once sang, “Well I guess this is growing up.”

Fine with messes. As a mom, your days will be messy. There’s simply no way around it. Kids are basically little gremlins, and though we love them, we can’t deny how destructive they are. That being said, the positive in this is that when you’re having sex, running into messes will hardly be an issue. You’ve seen everything, so no matter what happens, you can deal.

No pain, no gain. When you’ve experienced what it’s like to push a baby through your vagina, any other kind of pain isn’t really an issue — at all. So if you or your partner want to test the experimental waters and add some biting or slapping (or really, whatever the hell else you think you might want to try out), it’s hardly going to compare to the pain of childbirth.

Patience. When you’re a mom, patience is key. In fact, if you don’t have patience, you’re simply just going to lose your damn mind. So with this newfound patience, it’ll bring with it some major benefits in the bedroom (hello, delayed ejaculation).

Sex is sacred. Now that you’re a mom, finding the time to have sex is surely not as easy as it used to be, so there’s definitely a deeper sense of appreciation for it. When you’re having sex, you’re appreciating every second. It feels as though you’re having it for the first time (without any of the discomfort or pain, and all of the experience).

It feels deserved. After a long day chasing after your kids and stressing over typical mom problems (“mom-blems?”), there’s nothing more satisfying than sex. It’s relaxing. It feels good. It’s a major payoff that is far more gratifying than having a glass of wine or bingeing “House Hunters International.”

Knowing what you want. As a mom, you don’t bother trying to decide what you think is right versus simply what you want. You know, deep down, that you deserve life’s simple pleasures, and when it comes to being sexually satisfied, you want you want, and you’re not going to apologize for that, not when you have full day of tending to kids tomorrow.

Exhaustion. Now, just because becoming a mom helps with your sex life, that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be correlated with having sex. If you’re too tired for sex, you now a legitimate excuse. You’ve been mothering all day, so if you’re not in the mood, your partner will just have to deal. Or sleep on the couch. Or however it works under your roof.

Spontaneity. As a mom, sex can’t always be as casual as it used to be when you weren’t a parent. From here on out, sex may have to be far more spontaneous than it’s ever had to be in the past. But that’s exciting. Don’t look at that as a bad thing. Your sex life is pretty much being forced to be more exciting and unexpected than it’s ever been. In fact, you should celebrate that news with some more sex!

Quickies. Now, spontaneous sex is one thing, but with the busy schedule that you’ve got, spontaneous quickies are going to have to be the norm in your household — and this should excite you. Impromptu quickies will spice up your sex life and will even make you feel young again. Plus, what’s hotter than a quickie? Anyone?

To moms everywhere. If becoming a parent has made you stress a little about your sex life, don’t. You just need to embrace your new duties and your new schedule, and then you need to find the silver linings. They’re there. You just need to utilize your modified life as a tool for new experiences, not as a stop sign.