A queen's anniversary gift for her king: A Salon After Dark read

The queen of a mythical realm realizes that her king now prefers the bodies of inexperienced human virgins to her own. His insatiable appetite threatens the kingdom and everything the queen holds dear. She plots to seduce and deflower the two humans the king favors, but her plans backfire in spectacular fashion. What will become of her marriage? Her kingdom? Her virgins?
He has found another one. I can see it in his eyes. Beside me at the table, before our guests, my king is all attention and husbandly devotion. But I can see her in his amber eyes—someone else, someone not me.

In the Onyx Hall our glittering guests titter and play as they await the arrival of dinner. They are rowdy tonight, these members of court, some antlered or furred, others hoofed and be-snouted, seizing the wine proffered by the cloaked servants as fast as it comes.
In the center of the hall a troupe of musicians pluck their fleshy instruments, the cartilaginous extrusions from their caved-in bellies thrumming to a familiar tune. A river of entertainers flows this evening, an opened vein of life in honor of my husband and me. Their music echoes among the buttresses of the Hall’s ceiling,

Wednesday Black is a writer of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry. She studied writing at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where she spent part of her childhood, and at The New School in New York City. She splits her time between New York and New Orleans. This is her first work of erotic fiction.

"The View" alum Sherri Shepherd doesn't want any more drama

The kids are phenomenal. I've never worked with more phenomenal kids. They’d never done a four-camera shoot in front of an audience. I said, "I guarantee you're going to love it," and it was electrifying for them. They got to see Gabriel and me, because we're standup comics, how we can improv, and take it even further with the audience.
We have Oscar Nunez from “The Office,” Maggie Geha, from the show “Gotham,” Jacob Vargas, he was in “Crash” and so many other films, and Richard Gant, who was on a show called “Greenleaf” on the OWN Network. So, very strong actors around Gabe, and it's just a good time.
It is hard for me seeing Oscar from “The Office” as the antagonist.
He is the antagonist, and he's so mean. But he's a perfect foil to Gabriel Iglesias, because Gabe is so sweet. In all of the episodes he's so good. I go, "I can't believe you're that evil."
He just leans into it. He doesn’t play it as, "Maybe, secretly, I'm a nice guy."
He is in there. But he gets a lot of glee from playing that kind of character.
This is a show that also has a brain, and also has a heart, and is rooted in real issues. The first episode, I was so stunned and moved, because it's based on things that I have seen in the public school system myself. I have seen kids really pushed out because administration wants the school to be a “desirable” school. That is a real thing that happens.
It is such a real thing. I think we all remember those teachers who gave us a little bit extra, that said something. I remember my teacher said, "You're going to go far." She just spoke these words of life into me, things that I didn't think about. I remember words that she said, to this day, from second grade. Playing this part, Gabe really wanted a message to be in there, but he wanted it to be funny. I think we skirted that line really well.
Without being self-conscious about it. It's based on the real high school where he went.
It's Wilson High, and he went to Wilson High in Long Beach. They love Gabe so much. Everybody knows him as Fluffy the Comic. The love him so much that they allowed him to use the logo, the colors, the front of the school. Even, for Gabe, because that was so real for him, it was real for him to play it.
And to play it in this world where the cast is very diverse, but it's not in a ticking boxes way. It just is the world.

Sherri Shepherd is known for comedy, both in her standup and her memorable roles on shows like "30 Rock" and "Trial and Error." But during her years on "The View," her relationships with her co-hosts and her private life all became tabloid fodder. Yet Shepherd just keeps on smiling. And in her new Netflix series "Mr. Iglesias," she flexes her comic chops again as the beleaguered principal of a struggling California high school.
Shepherd joined "Salon Talks" recently to discuss working with Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias, why she embraces her "View" past — and the teacher who changed her life.
I'm so excited about this show, because it is really cool to have a TV show that you can actually watch with your family.
I think a lot of people are comparing it to “Welcome Back, Kotter,” which was one of my favorite shows. It revolves around this band of misfit kids who are really quite smart. Gabriel Iglesias is a history teacher, and he wants to save them all. So he clashes with the administration, like in “Welcome Back, Kotter.” He clashes with the administration, because we don't care about saving all the kids.
He takes a lot of topical issues, and he really puts the funny underneath. It comes out beautifully, I love working on the show.
It was inspired by his life. His other timeline would be this. So who is the principal? What does she do?
Principal Paula Madison. It's so funny. She has it all together at school. Her professional life is completely perfect, while her personal life is just in shatters. Gabe helps her through that. It's like they took a page from my book. She's been married twice, she's been divorced twice, she's looking for new love, and is not able to find it. That's who the principal is.
I had just come off of my other show, “Trial and Error,” on NBC. It didn't look like it was coming back. Gabe and I were doing something together, and he said, "I have this show coming up, and I would really like you to work with me." Then his executive producer, his partner, Kevin Hench called me. They said, "You have such a great reputation in Hollywood, and Gabe knows you. He wants to work with nice people." I said, "I'm down for it."
Because at this point in my life, I don't want a lot of drama. I want to go to the set, have a really great time, and be thankful, and go home and take care of my child. Literally, that's how this came about.
Sherri, you have had a little drama.
So much drama. I just want something just very cool, and calm, and I can go back home and soak my feet at night.
I think it was also Gabe thought I was really funny. So he offered me this role.
It's full of funny people. It's full of really funny kids.
It is the world, and that's what I like, it looks very authentic. It doesn't look like, "We need one black person, we need one Hispanic, we need one Asian.” It's just really diverse, because you're right, it just represents the world.
You're talking about being in front of an audience, and you and Gabe come from this background of standup. You've also been in front of audiences before. Sherri. You’ve done stage, you were on a little TV show called “The View.”
Is that the one with Barbara Walters?
It may be. Maybe you've heard of it. Maybe you remember it from back in your early, early, early career.

I was at a play, “Ain't Too Proud To Beg,” and there was an older man next to me. During one of the songs, he goes, "My wife knows you. I'm not sure who you are." I said, "I'm Sherri Shepherd from ‘The View.”' He goes, “SHE’S FROM ‘THE VIEW’ WITH BARBARA WALTERS.” Barbara, I love her. It's just an iconic show. Everybody knows “The View.”
Earlier this year, you said, it's now you think of it as an old boyfriend. It was great, we had our time, but now that time has passed.
Now that time has passed.
But this is always part of you. There was this bestselling book this year. People can't stop talking about this show. What do you think it is that's just so iconic about this idea of women sitting around and talking?
I think that Barbara Walters is so brilliant, because she just said, "I want a show where it looks like women are sitting around the table just talking. Nothing scripted, they're just giving their opinions." That's the way it started out. She would say, "Women from all different walks of life coming together, and give their opinion." I think we never had that before, and Barbara Walters was just brilliant in bringing it to the screen.
To keep it on the air, she had to call affiliates all over the country, and beg them to carry “The View.” She fought for years for the show. To bring two black women on a talk show, that was never done. Usually people, they have one black woman, and they go, "We're fine.” But she brought two black women on the show. She knew that Whoopi and I were from two different generations, and we had two different viewpoints. We clashed a lot on the show, Whoopi and I.
If you look at all of these panel shows now, they're offshoots of “The View.” “The Real,“ “The Talk,“ “The Chew.” Wendy Williams has Hot Topics. It has spawned so many shows that are like “The View.” I think that people still, even now, look at that show. This is the way women start their day, going, "What are they saying?" I feel so blessed to have been on a show like that for eight years. On my left was Barbara Walters, and on my right was Whoopi Goldberg. I'm going, "You can't pay for this kind of experience." When people come up to me and say, "I loved you on The View," or they still think I'm on ‘The View,’ I don't run from it, I'm so thankful for it.
It's such an important part of, not just television history, but media history. It really did help change the way that women, as consumers of news and stories are seen. You can talk about your family, and then you can talk about the presidential election.
We can do Netanyahu, and Khloe Kardashian, plus who has the best orgasms. It's so great because “The View” was a place that everybody knew. The politicians, even now, you have to come on "The View.: If you want to appeal to this female base, you've got to come on “The View,” and you've got to sit with these women. They are going to grill you, they're not going to be easy on you. That is still the place to come to make any kind of significant difference.

It's still that way today, and it's still going on. The year I was on was the only time we've ever won an Emmy. They'd been nominated every year. The only time that an Emmy was won for best co-host was when I was on there with Whoopi Goldberg.
You got that Emmy. Maybe now you're going to get another one. Maybe we could start with this new show. You know your character, and you know your lane. I think when you become a grownup, you don't realize that, "Oh, nobody else has their act together." Your teachers are people who have lives, and that's very much explored in your character.
That's what I love with “Mr. Iglesias,” because it goes behind the scenes of what the teachers go through, what the administration goes through. My character, her professional life is together. She wants this school to be a blue ribbon school. She’s working hard, she's getting noticed by different administrations. But the personal life is in shambles. She's sad about that, and she's raising her daughter by herself. Those are coming up in subsequent episodes. "Gabe, what I do about this?" Because everything else is falling into place, while it's nothing here.
Then the students start to see that part of her life. I don't know about you, but when I was a a teenager, if you saw a teacher outside of school, you didn't know what to do.
I remember going into a restaurant and I saw my teacher. I kept looking at her like she was some freak in a zoo, like, "What is she doing? She's eating."
Another thing that is so fun about this show, for those of us who did grow up on “Welcome Back, Kotter” or ”Head of the Class,” it is intentionally, clearly, meant to be an homage to that kind of show. For generations who aren't used to that, like the kids who you are working with, it is classic.
Coming back to the classic, four-camera shooting and being in front of an audience is just something so different. I love doing single camera, because I did single camera on “Trial and Error,“ and on “30 Rock,“ “How I Met Your Mother." Those are all single cameras, and those are great. But as a standup, to get back to being in front of a live audience, and do those jokes? Gabe is so wonderful at allowing me and Oscar really fly, and improv, and take it even further. You can do that because you hear if it works, because the audience gives you the immediate feedback.
Sherri, I don't know too many people who have had the kind of diversity in a career that you have had. You have done standup and scripted shows and talk shows. To go from "Trial and Error" to this. "Trial and Error" was such an outside of the box type of a show, and such an outside of the box character.
It was a very small town, and we were trying to solve a murder with a city boy from New York. It was in this really weird, quirky town. It was really my favorite role because I played the paralegal, research assistant and receptionist, named Anne Flatch. I had all these neurological disorders. I had facial blindness, I fainted when I saw beautiful artwork, I walked backwards when I got my flu shots, I spoke in a British accent when I had a cold. They were all really, really true neurological symptoms. I jumped 10 feet in the air if you startled me.
It wasn't that sassy kind of girl, she just was very sweet. I got the role because when I went in to audition for them, and I just kept smiling, because I forgot my reading glasses and I couldn't see anybody's face. So I just had a smile on my face the entire time. They said to me, "Can you read part of the script?" I went, "OK." I'm reading, and I'm like, "I don't know what the lines say." I was at the Ice House in Pasadena, on stage, and I got the word that they said, "You were perfect. That's exactly who this woman is. She just has a gentle spirit, and she smiles a lot. I was like, "Oh my God, thank you. I didn't have my reading glasses." It was my favorite role.
Because getting a little bit older, and losing a little bit of our eyesight, turns out to be a career advantage.

Girl, it was a career advantage for me. I think my son hides my reading glasses. I'm like Fred Sanford. You remember watching "Sanford and Son"? He would go in that drawer, and have all these reading glasses? That's me. I have a wig with reading glasses attached to it. When I put the wig on, it's got the reading glasses pinned down. So I've got my reading glasses wig.
Sherri, I'm going to give you a tip. You know what they have now? They make these little tiny glasses, and you fold them. You can slap them onto the back of your iPhone, or you can have them on a keyring. Then you never don't have a pair of glasses.
See, but I fight that. I'm newly single, and I can't go to a club and be pulling my glasses off the back of my phone. That's not sexy. I already got the reading glasses you put on, that you can bring them down. This boy was looking at me, and I was like, “Heyyyyyy." I found out my reading glasses were folded down. I said, "Oh, good grief."
Having your reading glasses folded down is the new having spinach between your teeth.
You know when you just give up, and you put them on that chain, because your girlfriend trying to sell jewelry from a little jewelry business. So you put them on a chain with the little sparkly things.
Meanwhile, your font is so huge. I was at a restaurant, and somebody went, "Ms. Sherri.” I said, "Do I know you?" He's like, "I can read everything on your phone." Like, "How big is that font?"
If you're worried about digital privacy, just get a pair of glasses, that's the key.
Just look at my phone. You can see it a block away because my font is so big.
I want to ask you one more thing. Because this is a show that is based on a real person, a real history teacher. You started talking earlier about a teacher who changed your life. I want to hear more about this teacher.
She was in second grade. She gave me my love of reading, and doing characters, and being funny. I remember, because I grew up in the inner city of Chicago. She was this white lady with blonde hair, and I used to go, "You got pretty, pretty hair," because we had our little pigtails. She read to us all the time, and she would do characters. I don't know if you remember the song, “Chicken Soup with Rice.” She would play these songs, and she would be the character. I was fascinated by the characters that she would do. I took that with me. She would always say, "Sherri, you're so smart. You're so funny.” I just remember those words. That words that you impart to somebody can really make a difference in their life. Even as an actress, if I see somebody on the street, I like to be so positive, because they will never meet me again, but I think they'll remember what I said.
For a child, to have someone make them feel like, "You are smart, you are seen,” that's what this show is about.
That's what they love about Gabriel Iglesias. Because these kids feel like, "You see me. When nobody else acknowledges me, you see me." I think that really touches people.

6 Common Sex And Dating Myths, Debunked

Finally! Some of our most common misconceptions about love, explained in a handy little list.
Every now and then, science does us a favor and sheds some much-needed light on the differences between men and women. Given the number of misconceptions there are about love, a group of psychologists took it upon themselves to review existing research and debunk six sex and gender myths most of us believe, although we shouldn't.
1. "Girls want status, guys want boobs." Au contraire! According to University of Michigan psychologist Teri Conley, "when the object of one's potential affection shifted from ideal to actual, gender differences in preferred qualities of partners disappeared." So, in reality, both genders are equally shallow. Yay! Study Says Men Think You're Dumber When You're Wearing THIS

2. "Men want to sleep with more people than women do."  Sorry Wilt Chamberlain, but guys don't really want to follow in your footsteps. In fact, despite how much men may claim they want to be "studs," they really desire the same number of partners a woman does: one. 5 Thoughts He Has When You Tell Him How Many Guys You've Slept With
3. "Men think about sex constantly, while ladies think about weddings." Well, men do think about sex more, but it's only because, scientists say, they're more attentive to their own needs than us. Women, on the other hand, are socialized to be more attentive to the needs of others, thus we think about our own desires less.

4. "Women have fewer orgasms than men do." Again, true in general, but not true for women in steady relationships. A study found that people in long-term relationships suffer less from the "orgasm gap," and 79% of women in those relationships orgasm as often as the men do. This could be the result of many things — comfort, trust — but it's mainly because a woman is "more likely to get clitoral stimulation during relationship-sex than during hookups."

Can You Orgasm From Wearing High Heels?

The designer Christian Louboutin shares his "orgasmic high heel" theory, i.e. ploy to sell shoes.
Alright, it's time to get on my soapbox about the health dangers of high heels, as I already did earlier this year. Citing no real scientific basis for his statements, iconic shoe designer Christian Louboutin recently said: "What is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman's foot when she orgasms." A "female French academic" told him this, which clearly means it's true. (Who trusts the French, anyway?) Sorry, Mr. Louboutin, your shoes are cute, and I wish I could afford them, but I don't buy into your theory.

Apparently by "putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation." Oh, really? You're not just running a clever PR campaign to sell more overpriced shoes? Well, everyone should be so lucky as to have orgasmic experiences from high heels. Okay, I'm going to assume Louboutin doesn't actually think high heels cause orgasms, because that would just be loopy, but that he's saying they enhance a woman's sexual power. It goes without saying that a lot of men think they're sexy, and a lot of women enjoy wearing them. Fantastic! But making other women feel insecure by telling them through the channels of mass media that they have to fit into an uncomfortable contraption just to be sexy, well, that's just low. Love & Beauty: What Is 'Drunkorexia?'

Plus, more reputable sources say high heels increase your risk of arthritis, and cause ankle fractures, nerve damage and varicose veins, not to mention blisters and calluses. In my book, that makes all the seductive qualities go out the window.

As for Louboutin's statement saying a pair of heels gives a woman the power to be "sexy, charming, witty or shy?" I can do any of that in my flats, thanks. Maybe I'm just bitter because I dislike walking in those things (though I sometimes force myself to), but I think every woman should make her own decision about what she chooses to feel sexy in, rather than letting a bogus "news" article dictate what's "orgasmic" and what's not.

Stop Settling for So-So Sex!

The key to improving mediocre sex is getting to the root of the problem.
Everyone has dealbreakers.
They're the unalterable qualities in your prospective partner that eliminate the possibility of a happy relationship. Some are shallow: gnarly feet, freakishly small hands, a CD collection that's a little heavy on the Limp Bizkit. But others are critical indicators of compatibility: he doesn't want kids and you do. Or his deeply held religious convictions don’t mesh with your own.
But one potential dealbreaker defies categorization: bad sex. Is it a shallow concern that shouldn't matter if two people care about each other? Is it the ultimate indicator of compatibility because it's so primal? Or is it not a dealbreaker at all because, with enough time and effort, it can be fixed?

"Sometimes people just need a little physical training," says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of Sex So Great She Can’t Get Enough. "But since passion is practically a philosophical concept, bad sex almost always results from emotional, mental, and physical issues."
Before you can figure out whether you can improve the bad sex you're having, you have to figure out if you're having bad sex. Every couple has an unsatisfying or disappointing encounter now and again.

The key to improving mediocre sex is getting to the root of the problem.
You're tired, or the kids interrupt you, or the 11 happy-hour mai tais you accidentally drank make it impossible to get even one leg out of your pants. Using movies—which almost always depict couples having perfectly lit, simultaneously orgasmic sex (Check out some erotic flicks you'll both like)—as a yardstick will only make you feel needlessly inadequate. So what, exactly, qualifies as bad sex?
"If either person is dissatisfied over the long term, it's bad sex," explains Gina Ogden, PhD, a sex therapist in Cambridge, MA, and author of The Heart and Soul of Sex. "We've been taught that good sex is intercourse where the man and woman achieve orgasm. But that's just a small part. In fact, if you ask 100 people what bad sex is, they'll all tell you how it makes them feel. And every single person may feel something different."

Martha's* feelings changed from elation to humiliation the first time she had sex with an attractive coworker. "I was so excited to sleep with him, but when we got in bed he turned into Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman— he wouldn't kiss me," says the 30-year-old lawyer.
"I told myself it was OK, because sometimes sex is just dirty and fun." But after several months of the same behavior, she realized it really wasn't OK. "I was certain I was in love with him, and just watching him walk around the office turned me on! But I couldn't get turned on in bed. Finally, I asked him to kiss me in the middle of the act and he actually said no—then finished. It was the last time we slept together."

The secret to good sex is figuring out what you need to be happy in bed. Most people never enter the bedroom alone; they always bring baggage with them. Whether it's something as serious as sexual abuse or as natural as the habits formed with past lovers, everyone has expectations, and they can derail a new couple's sex life.
If you expect sex to be boring, it probably will be. If you assume your partner will enjoy something that an ex liked, you'll be less attuned to his actual response.
In fact, it's not at all unusual for one person to be perfectly satisfied with sex while the other person is not—and the happy person may not realize that his or her partner is dissatisfied. So if you're the unhappy one, you have to change things. "Communicating about sexual issues is one of the more important things a couple needs to do," says Michael Milburn, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Boston and coauthor of Sexual Intelligence. "You need to be able to talk comfortably about sex with your partner."
When, where, and how you talk about sex can be the difference between a productive conversation and a catastrophic meltdown. Bringing up your misgivings during sex is, to say the least, not recommended; doing it immediately afterwards could make your partner feel like he’s being attacked—and besides, his snoring may drown you out. Take the conversation outside the bedroom to keep it neutral and non-threatening. But try not to do it in, say, a crowded subway car.
If talking about the problem directly is too daunting, find another way to raise your concerns. "My boyfriend was sweet, but extremely inexperienced," says Stephanie, a 26-year-old teacher. "I had no idea how to address it without hurting his ego. But one day at a bookstore I picked up The Joy of Sex, and told him it would be hot if we could read it together. And let me tell you, that book holds up."
In a healthy relationship, tricks like that can, well, do the trick. But sometimes people blame their bad relationship on bad sex when the bad sex is, in fact, a result of the bad relationship. It's an especially easy trap for men to fall into. "They put more importance on sex and ignore intimacy," Keesling says. "They think that if they can get laid and enjoy it, things will be OK. Well, that's naïve—and they often end up going out and having sex with someone else."
Generally, it's only when the relationship itself is beyond repair that the sex is, too. So talk to your partner, demonstrate what you need, do what it takes. Because you never want to look back and discover that, in the end, the dealbreaker was you.

Exercise Your Sex Muscles

Kegel exercises are important for a variety of reasons. For women, it keeps them from being incontinent. If you pee a tiny bit when you sneeze, laugh hard, or jump rope, you need to do your Kegels.
Many women who have never experienced orgasm are able to after strengthening their pubococcygeus or PC muscle, which is a hammock-like muscle, found in both sexes, that stretches from the pubic bone to the coccyx (tail bone), forming the floor of the pelvic cavity and supporting the pelvic organs.
Some women, by squeezing hard and pumping on their PC muscles, can bring themselves to orgasm. Those who do have orgasms can make them stronger and last longer with strong PC muscles. Some women think they can no longer have orgasms because they’re older or have gone through menopause. It could be that they have allowed their PC muscles to atrophy. Start doing Kegals and it is very likely the ability to orgasm will return.

There’s a love technique where you tighten your vagina around your partner’s penis when he’s inside of you. That can be very exciting for a man and feel great to you too. Having strong PC muscles is the only way to be able to do this.
Kegels help men have more control over their orgasms when they want to slow things down or, when they do have an orgasm, to make it stronger and last longer. If a man does Kegels while inside his partner, she can feel the pumping. Very pleasurable.
The way to do Kegel exercises is to simply squeeze, as if you were shutting off urination. Work up to 200 per day, squeeze for 5 seconds, then relax for 5 seconds. Do them in the car, while standing in line, in meetings, at your desk, watching television, or reading.
You can also visit to find Kegel and Pelvic Exercisers. It will take a while to build up your strength but the many benefits are worth the time and energy that it takes to develop a regular “PC muscles.” From my heart to yours, Kara Oh

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How Yoga May Be The Answer To Better Sex

We always thought the downward facing dog looked and sounded a bit erotic...
Although we scoff when perfectly taut starlets claim "it's from yoga!" we'll certainly dust off our stretchy pants and mats if the downward facing dog may help us reach orgasm more frequently.
A recent study claims women who practice yoga and some of the eastern-based thinking techniques of mindfulness report more satisfying sex lives. While the article doesn't mention exactly why, it touches on the fact yoga is, after all, derived from many of the positions in the Kama Sutra and is meant to increase flexibility. 

The second tier of the study, mindfulness, actually makes perfect sense for helping women orgasm. Mindfulness, training one's self to be absorbed in the present moment, is certainly a female downfall when it comes to getting it on. During sex, us cerebral gals are often a fuzzy, jumbled blur of emotions, self consciousness, and (oh yeah) the desire to get off. Hell, the sex is over before we've made it to number three on the short list.

As an added bonus, the article also mentions yoga may cure men of premature ejaculation. (!!!!!!) In India, 68 men who come way too quickly on a regular basis, were either given the choice of prozac or a daily hour-long yoga session. In the end, the study states the yoga-happy men "had both subjective and statistically significant improvements in their intra-ejaculatory latencies, similar to participants in the pharmacologic treatment group."
So if yoga can help cure premature ejaculation and finnicky orgasms who cares about washboard abs! What's a runner's body when you can go to sleep just as satisfied as the grinning bedmate next to you.
Although we scoff when perfectly taut starlets claim "it's from yoga!" we'll certainly dust off our stretchy pants and mats if the downward facing dog may help us reach orgasm more frequently.
A recent study claims women who practice yoga and some of the eastern-based thinking techniques of mindfulness report more satisfying sex lives. While the article doesn't mention exactly why, it touches on the fact yoga is, after all, derived from many of the positions in the Kama Sutra and is meant to increase flexibility. 

The second tier of the study, mindfulness, actually makes perfect sense for helping women orgasm. Mindfulness, training one's self to be absorbed in the present moment, is certainly a female downfall when it comes to getting it on. During sex, us cerebral gals are often a fuzzy, jumbled blur of emotions, self consciousness, and (oh yeah) the desire to get off. Hell, the sex is over before we've made it to number three on the short list.
As an added bonus, the article also mentions yoga may cure men of premature ejaculation. (!!!!!!) In India, 68 men who come way too quickly on a regular basis, were either given the choice of prozac or a daily hour-long yoga session. In the end, the study states the yoga-happy men "had both subjective and statistically significant improvements in their intra-ejaculatory latencies, similar to participants in the pharmacologic treatment group."
So if yoga can help cure premature ejaculation and finnicky orgasms who cares about washboard abs! What's a runner's body when you can go to sleep just as satisfied as the grinning bedmate next to you.

7 Ways Faking It Can Actually Help You Orgasm

Faking it is bad for you and your partner. But can you trick yourself to orgasm?
Women who regularly fake orgasms during sex actually hurt their own ability to orgasm.
However, it's possible to use "faking" as a technique or a trick to actually orgasm.
Sometimes during a sexual healing session I would instruct a woman to fake orgasm sounds or even say "I'm coming." She would say "I'm feeling some pleasure, but i'm not really coming," but I would ask her to do that anyway, like a game.
After a few minutes of making sounds and shouting "Yes! Yes! I'm coming!," something would change in her movements and her sounds, and she would say "I'm coming! ... I mean, I'm REALLY coming !!!."
You see, in some ways, your brain is like someone who is locked in a room and perceives the external world through messages delivered via the senses.

When you deliver the right kind of messages to your brain, you can trick your brain to believe you are having an orgasm and your brain will send the messages to your body creating an actual orgasm.
When you are consciously faking an orgasm for an extended period of time, your subconscious doesn't know if it's real or not and it believes you.
Besides that, making sounds of pleasure is pleasurable. Even if there's no "real" pleasure, the sounds by themselves are pleasurable to make.
I like to refer to this technique as "FITYMI," which sounds like "fee-tee-mee." I sometimes joke that if you claim you're not orgasmic, you're faking it, because I know you are.

"You are orgasmic—So stop faking it."
Exercise—Fake it till you make it.

Do a self-pleasuring exercise with internal stimulation as explained here.
Right from the beginning of your session, do the following:
Intensify and exaggerate everything you feel and express it with stronger sounds than how it actually feels.
Pretend you are someone else—Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, or a porn star. Move, touch yourself, make sounds as if you were them.
After you get somewhat aroused, keep exaggerating your movements and making strong sounds continuously. Moan and shout.
Keep saying "I'm coming ... I'm coming ... I'm coming."
You might feel silly or self-conscious. Remember you are playing a game and having fun. Keep going.

Occasionally, pause and notice the sensations. Then keep going.
You could also do something similar with a partner, but be sure to let him know that you are faking. Make a game out of it.
Who would have thought "Faking it" can actually make you more orgasmic?
Give it a try, and let me know how it goes.

To learn many other ways to orgasm, read Eyal's free ebook "Female orgasm redefined", or schedule a complimentary discovery session with Eyal over skype.

New Sex Trend Says, 'Sayonara!' To Orgasms

According to relationship experts, sex without climax can do wonders for your relationship.
In the past, you may have heard sex without climax referred to as boring, pointless or even (for the unlucky among us), "pretty normal."
However, orgasm-less sex has a name, ladies and gentlemen, and for those hitting rough patches in a relationship, it may be the perfect prescription for romantic repair.
It's called karezza, a new couples' therapy trend that urges men and women to stop making orgasms the main goal of intercourse, instead avoiding climax altogether to focus on the intimacy of the act.
Those who have tried karezza say it creates a much deeper feeling in a relationship than conventional sex. How it works is a bit iffy, but if you ask the experts, it's all about the connection.

"Even for those with the highest libidos, performance can become a grind and drive a craving for novelty," said Marnia L. Robinson, an author who discourages readers from having orgasm-driven sex. "It's a practice about not-doing, about getting your goal-driven mammalian mating system out of the way long enough to fall into a state of relaxed union."

That deeper union comes in part thanks to the science behind an orgasm (or lackthereof). Some Dutch scientists have said that the brain scans of people climaxing are similar to those who are shooting heroin; it's a type of high that eventually causes a crash. Stabilizing from that orgasm-induced crash can take up to 15 days for some, say the experts; hence the benefits of skipping the finish all together.

For those in established relationships, it seems like it's worth a shot; for those with problems climaxing in general, this new trend could be your saving grace in the sack. Either way, let me know how it goes.
Would you try karezza, or does orgasm-less sex just seem pointless? Sound off!

5 Websites For All You Need To Know About Erotic Massages

Here's 5 websites that will teach you everything about the erotic massage, and more.
Thanks to Google, sex education is one click away. Whether you are creating exciting erotica, learning techniques to use on a lover or yourself, all that matters is that you bring yourself the pleasure you deserve.
Not only is sex fun, but according to WebMD there are significant health benefits to frequent orgasms—a stronger libido, a healthier immune system, better bladder control, lower blood pressure, lower heart attack risk, improved sleep and diminishing pain.
Solo sex may be the only option for you if you are between lovers, or have other issues that make sex with another person not possible. Because of Google, there are countless resources for you to learn about sex, orgasm and pleasure. Just because you are alone right now doesn't mean you can't have all the orgasmic pleasure you please.

Here are 5 fun and informative websites I found when I googled "How to give an erotic massage."

1. Nerve.com
“Here in the United States in the year 2014, we have a pretty standard set of mating rituals: mill around a bar looking for attractive strangers who then purchase alcoholic beverages for you in hopes that you engage in friendly conversation, and later, some sex. To an outsider, contemporary sex rituals might seem bizarre, but a deep dive into history books will tell you that in times of yore, throughout the world, the things we've done to get it on have been downright peculiar."
Check Out: Weird Sex Rituals From Around The World
2. Bustle.com
Celebrity Niecy Nash caused controversy in this article with her comments about sex: "What's so interesting is that [women are] more willing to have conversations about 'Do you want to get married? Where do you see this relationship going? Do you want to have children?' than we are to ask, 'What kind of sex do you like? What are you into there?' If you're going to be with someone for the rest of your life and they're failing to meet your sexual needs, it's like doing a slow dance with death."

Check Out: A BJ A day Keeps The Divorce Attorney Away
3. Refinery29.com
"There are two things we know for sure about masturbation: Almost everyone's doing it, and absolutely no one wants to talk about it."
Check Out: Masturbation Myths
4. TheStir.com

"Masturbation. It's a solo act. And we all know that one is the loneliest number. Perhaps that's why some women don't take care of business that often (or ever). How very sad. But wait, masturbaters know that that getting it on with yourself is a good time. Like, really good. Sometimes the number one is just right—solo, me time, all about you—oh yes."

Check Out: 10 Ways To Make Masturbating Exciting
5. LovePanky.com
"How to do an erotic massage ... First of all, you need to give yourselves a few hours of free time with no phone calls or distractions. To create an explosive sexual connection you need to be focused on each other and nothing else. You can have tantric sex for an hour or prolong it for more than a day. It's really up to you and your partner. To start off, indulge in tantric sex for an hour or two. You'll soon realize that two hours of sex is just too short once you've created a connection between each other in a realm that's beyond the physical plane."
Check Out: Tantric Massage

Oh yeah, I did find the resource I was looking for on erotic massage. I used it to write a new story. Read it here.